LORAN SMITH: Laughter is nothing to snicker at

If people make you laugh, doesn’t that make you want to spend more time with them? Laughter is not only good for the soul, it is healthy. Did you know that:

• Laughter improves the immune system;

• Laughter is good for cardiovascular function;

• Laughter gives core muscles a mini-workout;

• Laughter relieves stress.

Of course, red wine will do that, too.

Any good speaker will integrate humor into his or her presentation. A walk on the light side stimulates an audience. Nothing like a dull, boring speech. Worse is a dull, boring sermon, which brings to mind the old story about a young rural minister who was preaching his first sermon and became overwhelmed with stage fright.

He arrived at the church early to practice his sermon, but confided in the lead deacon that he was considering going home and letting the deacon announce that the minister had come down sick.

The deacon took the young preacher out to his car and pulled out a jar of moonshine. The deacon told him to sit and relax a few minutes and take a sip or two — that the moonshine would settle him down. The deacon left the preacher alone with the moonshine, which resulted in the preacher draining the container. It worked. The moonshine gave the minister all the confidence he needed, which led to a rocking, uplifting sermon that brought several rousing “Amens.”

When the minister finished and took his place at the entrance of the church to meet the departing congregation, he got mixed reviews — one in particular was very poignant. An aging, gray-haired lady exited the church, telling the minister that she enjoyed his enthusiastic presentation. However, she was moved to comment that she had been a worshiper at that church all her life and, although she considered herself knowledgeable about the Bible, she needed clarification on one of his points. “I always thought David slew Goliath with a sling shot. I never knew that he beat the hell out of him with a fence rail.”

I receive countless Rotary Club invitations, owing to the fact that I honor their long-standing tradition of not paying honorariums. There was one Lions Club invitation recently that reminded me of the story about a young kid doing his homework and, out of the blue, asked his mom a question: “How do lions make love?” His mother replied, “I really don’t know. Your dad has always been a Rotarian.”

For your information: Kay Jewelers has it wrong. Every kiss begins with Miller Lite.

Another preacher story. A country parson who has just settled in began moving about to meet the flock and ran into an old farmer. He asked the farmer if he were a member of the Christian family. “No,” came the reply. “They live down the road near the county line.” The preacher explained that the farmer didn’t understand. “What I mean,” said the preacher, “is, are you lost?” The farmer replied negatively, saying “I’ve been living round here all my life. I have a good idea of where I am.” The preacher explained, “You still don’t understand. What I mean is, are you ready for the judgment day?”

The farmer then asked, “Well, when is it?” Exasperated the preacher said, “It might be today. It might be tomorrow.” The farmer then said, “Well, when you find out, let me know. My wife’s gonna want to go both days.”

One that everybody can relate to involved a small-town mayor whose daughter was stopped for speeding. She was very insulted that the officer began writing a ticket.

After a while, realizing where he was headed, she blurted out, “Do you know who my daddy is?”

The officer, still writing, said, “Nope. You’re going to have to ask your mamma!” Selah!