CARLTON FLETCHER: Mike Collins’ nauseating political ad written for 4-year-old mentality

I wish that for just one time, you could stand inside my shoes. You’d know what a drag it is to see you.

— Bob Dylan

Granddaughter Lizzy is a particularly bright child. So nothing she says is really that surprising.

Not even, when she heard her parents discussing politics recently and, with the mention of Sen. Jon Ossoff’s name, said, “I know who Jon Ossoff is. He raises our taxes.”

Lizzy is 4, by the way. And while she is, as was noted, a particularly bright little one, she has no concept of taxes or how anyone raises or lowers them.

Like so many people these days, Lizzy’s comments were based, obviously, on the ads that haunt TV viewers of all ages … apparently even those who enjoy the likes of “Pepa Pig” and “Big City Greens.”

When I’ve told that story to some people, they’ve said – unironically, I might add, “Now, that’s a smart little girl,” assuming one can only suppose that they think this precocious 4-year-old agrees with the misleading ad – that, I’ll add, has run ad nauseum … get it? ad naus … never mind, since Mike Collins was chosen by state Republicans as best candidate out of what was a really really motley bunch, at best, to challenge Ossoff for his Senate seat.

To these people, I mildly ask, “Did you get that part where I said Lizzy is 4 years old? That she doesn’t know a tax from a hobgobblin?”

And I usually throw in something like, “You can just about bet the farm that nobody with even a distant relationship with the Fletcher family is ever going to indicate Collins is a legitimate challenger for Ossoff because Collins is such a great son of Georgia.”

(As an aside, I think it should be clarified that Ossoff didn’t “vote to raise taxes” as that stupid, misleading, lie of an ad says. He voted against Trump’s omnibus bill that included billions of dollars in mindless, partisan spending. Voting against a sickening bill like that is nowhere near “voting to raise taxes.”)

There.

I’ll proudly aver here that Ossoff is one of the few politicians – especially in Georgia – who has attempted to do what he was elected to do – you know, look after the needs of the citizens of the state? He’s been on the side of righteousness in pretty much every vote he’s made, and he’s stood up for Georgians when many other state politicians in D.C. – especially Collins – have abandoned the state to do Donald Trump’s bidding.

And, lest many of you aren’t paying attention, which obviously you aren’t, Collins has been an ardent supporter of the Trump policies that:

– have gas above $4 a gallon (it’s under that now in Georgia, but only because the state has stopped collecting its gas tax share for a few days leading up to the midterm elections, after which it will return to the above-$4 level again … talk about playing politics);

– have groceries so expensive families are cutting back on meals to try and stay afloat;

– have us in a needless war with Iran that has “ended” or “will end shortly” 19 times and counting while our warriors are at risk and we have to take out a loan to fill up our tank;

– have “beautiful” tariffs in place that’s costing us even more;

– and so on and so forth.

That doesn’t even take into account the fact that Collins has people on his staff and in his family who are white supremacists and promote as well as spread neo-Nazi propaganda. 

And, yeah, I get it that many of you who would actually support this creep probably are closet supremacists yourselves and are proud to see one of your kind seeking a seat of power. Trust me when I say you deserve each other.

Funny thing about Lizzy’s “Jon Ossoff and taxes” comment is that a great many “conservatives” who have a tendency to rant and rave about government – and many who contribute to this newspaper’s Squawkbox feature – do the same thing as she did, using quotes from idiotic political ads as a basis for the pearls of wisdom they share.

But, again, I say, Lizzy’s only 4 years old. It stands to reason that these damning ads were written with people at that mental level in mind.

Email Carlton Fletcher at carlton.fletcher@albanyherald.com.