MARY BRASWELL: Looking back at the December 2007 Squawkbox

For most readers, the year 2007 will seem like just yesterday. If, however, you are among the many who cannot remember what happened yesterday, here is a refresher from December 2007. And what else better reflects the news than Squawkbox entries?

— I wish I could keep 250 days of operating expenses on hand, but I have to pay taxes in Dougherty County.

— Dick Cheney says we have to adjust for higher gas prices. I guess that means we cut out the food and put the money in the gas tank.

— I’d love to meet that squawker who said they have never had any trouble with Mediacom service.

— Great news about our city government finding surplus money. Let’s find another musician who had his diaper changed here and build a monument.

— Are cell phones now required for all drivers of vehicles? At least 90 percent have a phone stuck to their ear.

— My grandchildren wanted to know why the people on the floats did not wave during the parade. I had to explain that it is hard to wave while texting on your cell phone.

— I am so old I remember when it embarrassed a woman for her slip to show.

— (The very next day) What is a slip?

— Ray Charles may have dropped $4 million in Albany, but Albany State is the one who lost it.

— You may not want to celebrate Jesus’ birthday, but when you stand before him on Judgment Day, you will wish you had.

— If the study shows that local health care costs are in line, then none of us can afford to be sick.

— The engineer who designed the Jefferson Street exit must be from Georgia Tech because it is definitely a Ramblin’ Wreck.

— Oprah is supporting Obama. Gee, I never saw that one coming.

— Don’t tell the commissioners about the Brooklyn Bridge. They’ll buy it.

— What a lack of understanding of economics by the person who says the U.S. government has allowed 80 percent of the toys to be made in China. We don’t allow or disallow the Chinese to make toys. They are imported because people are willing to buy them.

— — —

QUIK QUIZ

Christmas and Phoebe were the two topics most frequently mentioned through December 2007 in The Squawkbox. Out of 31, how many days were neither referenced?

a) 2

b) 5

c) 8

d) 11

Answer at the end of the column.

— — —

— Conserve water. Shower with a friend.

— To the Squawker wishing sickness on the person missing a church service, I am going to miss three weeks while visiting my sister over Christmas. I guess I deserve to die.

— I’m going to the bank, take a lot of money out of savings and buy my wife a gallon of gas for Christmas.

— Would one of the local radio stations please play Porky Pig’s version of “Blue Christmas?”

— If greenhouse gases are harming our environment, why don’t we outlaw greenhouses?

— I see where wheat prices are going through the ceiling. Let’s charge Exxon $4 a loaf for bread.

— Now I’ve heard everything. Former Congressman Cynthia McKinney is running for president. Yes, of the United States.

— I think all the people in Doublegate who voted against the cell tower should have to turn in their cell phones immediately.

— I remember the good ole days when the Civic Center was the only government-sponsored drain on the taxpayers’ dollars.

— Did you hear about the fellow who decided not to report the theft of his wallet? He thought the thief would spend less than his wife would.

— All Muslims may not be terrorists, but most of the terrorists have been Muslim.

— If a chain restaurant is your idea of upscale, you haven’t been out much, have you?

— An indication of your economic future being dim is if you have to purchase your engagement ring on credit.

— The guy in the police report who was lying on the sidewalk while his friends kicked and hit him with bricks probably needs to avoid his enemies.

— Hooray. This is my favorite time of year. I am going out to pick out my new Valentine candy.

— I have been trying to get Mediacom on the phone for more than a week to repair my cable. Today, they called and ask me if I wanted to change my phone service to them as well. What kind of nut would do something that foolish?

— To the Squawker who believes the Marine Corps is just another branch of the service, I believe 11 weeks on Parris Island would change his mind.

— Joel Wernick should go to Grady Hospital and straighten them out since they are doing so poorly.

— To the thief who stole the speakers out of my truck: Thanks for leaving your fingerprints. We will see you soon.

— Churches and people putting up manger scenes need to do it right. The wise men were never at the manger.

— (Next day) I took the wise men from my manger scene and put them through a wood chipper. Now I know God is pleased with me.

— Singing in the Hallelujah chorus. What a wonderful treat for the attendees at the Peppermint Pops. Hope to see more next year.

— Next to the comics, I love reading the names in the birth announcements.

QUIK QUIZ answer: a) 2

(Christmas was mentioned 52 times and Phoebe, 26 times)

Each week Albany Herald researcher Mary Braswell looks for interesting events, places and people from the past. You can contact her at (229) 888-9371 or [email protected]. Follow @ABH_MBraswell on Twitter