CARLTON FLETCHER: On clearing up some Squawkbox misconceptions

“Bought a couple parrots that like to squawk, And they sound like you and all the sh — you talk.”

— Kid Rock

Today I’m going to do something I’ve always told myself I wouldn’t do (unless ordered to do so my my boss): write about this newspaper’s Squawbox feature.

A BRIEF HISTORY: The Squawkbox debuted in the Herald, believe it or not, on 9-11-2001 — yes, on THE 9-11. It was seen as a way for the public to offer up commentary on local issues of importance. It turned into a way for people to air personal and political gripes anonymously, often maliciously. (I’ll go on record here as being the only one who spoke up as opposed to the idea from the onset. I could foresee such misuse of the space that has often been perpetrated, plus I’ve always said it goes against everything that journalism stands for. But (nod to one of my favorite squawkers), that’s just me.

Now the Squawkbox has become a favorite place for individuals to gripe about politics … a subject and practice I despise. Some people, miraculously, are still arguing Donald Trump’s victory over Hillary Clinton … most, though, are engaged in espousing the validity vs. the illegitimacy of the 2020 election in which Joe Biden defeated Donald Trump. That amazes me, but it shouldn’t. There are many squawkers who still debate the Civil War.

I have been accused, as editor, of favoring one side or the other in this ludicrous debate. And while I was by no means a fan of the man who lost the election, I also have never offered any commentary in support of the man who now holds the office. Like most Americans, I’m bewildered by some of President Biden’s policies and actions, and I am angered that every aspect of American life that impacts we citizens has been turned into a political football that is determined not by wrong or right but by partisanship. Politics in America right now is one big cosmic joke, and unfortunately the joke is on us. And there is no punchline.

So, as my first point of this column: Those of you who say things like “It’s you and your liberal Democrats who …” I am not now, nor have I ever been a “Democrat.” Nor have I ever been a “Republican.” And, no, that doesn’t make me an “Independent,” which to me is just a way of saying, “I want people to think I stand out.” If you declare yourself a “member” of any of these parties, I pity you. If you’re one of those adamant members who follows the party line and/or candidate, no matter what’s involved, I pity America more because of you. Any person who proudly proclaims him- or herself a do-or-die member of either party is a part of what’s wrong with our country.

I love regular contributors like “Yours Truly” and “That (Masked) Vaccinated Man.” I’ve often been accused of being both — sorry YT and TVM, I know that’s a slap at you, I hope neither of you takes offense — and I can clear that up today. I am neither. But some clever sleuth deducted that the regular use of these contributors’ squawks indicated a “brother-in-law relationship” between myself and them, and then another concluded that it’s understandable, given the ineptitude of “liberal Democrats.” (See above.)

So, to be clear, I am neither of these contributors, nor am I kin to them (at least not so far as I know). They just manage to make (often unpopular) points that cheese people off. They’re also big boys (or girls) and can take it when people take shots at them … anonymously, of course.

INTERJECTION: One entity that is being subjected to regular criticism these days — no less than a dozen squawks and counting — is the local Probate Court. I’ll add my 2 cents worth. My wife and I recently had the opportunity to get to see the work of the court’s staff up close and personal. Persons in that office had to make copies of papers we brought them, so they asked to keep them; we could pick them up when we came back. When we came back, the papers had “disappeared.” Calls to that office led to some apologetic (and very nice) attempts at explanation. But the last person I personally talked with was at first condescending — well, just go to wherever you got the papers and get more copies (which involves an afternoon of riding and additional cost) — and then down-right rudeness. Well, if you saw our office, you’d understand. I don’t have time to spend telling you tough luck that WE lost your official papers. I get the squawks, none of which, by the way, have been complimentary.

So many of you, in what I can only surmise is your attempt at cleverness, simply repeat diatribes of talking heads and online rants by those who share your political agenda, most of them using the exact same wording. Since I can only surmise no four or five or six … or more … people come up with the same comments in the exact same words at any given time, when I get those, I automatically delete them.

I have to edit your squawks. Some of them are just too long, and I have an exact word count. If you go over it, I cut the squawk or, if it’s just too hard to do, I don’t use that squawk. I’ve been accused of editing squawks to “change their meaning.” Perhaps … if your meaning was to show, in a whole lot of words, how clever you are. But I only rarely change the wording (usually to correct spellings or subject/verb agreement), instead alleviating words (like “very” and “stupid” and “Sleepy”) in an effort to make the squawk fit without changing meaning. This whining that I’m making changes to your masterpiece because I don’t like Trump is asinine.

I screw up, but I don’t do it intentionally. Oh, and I really like squawks about local stuff; I could care less what Donald Trump or Joe Biden does. And I appreciate true cleverness. But, again, that’s just me.