CARLTON FLETCHER: … you might be a Georgia Republican

Editor’s Note: To equally befuddle (and rile up), a future column will take a look at the foibles of folks on the other side of the political spectrum.

To borrow from that renowned Georgia wit Jeff Foxworthy, if you find yourself in any of the following predicaments or happenstances … you definitely are a Georgia Republican:

♦ If you’re planning a run for political office and the first quote you give is “I am pro-gun and pro-Trump,” you definitely are a Georgia Republican.

♦ If you think the attempted coup to lay siege to the U.S. Capitol and overthrow the country’s (so-far) enduring democracy was a bunch of good ole boys just having a little fun and blowing off some steam, you definitely are a Georgia Republican.

♦ If you say you will not vote for the incumbent governor, lieutenant governor, secretary of state and attorney general — Republicans all — because they upheld the law and did not take illegal action to change the results of the state election, you definitely are a Georgia Republican.

♦ If you pass a law to allow for “leadership committees” that, essentially, pave the way for as much money — and as much money from outside influences — as anyone wants to give to try and buy their government leaders, you definitely are a Georgia Republican.

♦ If you think the Biden administration is nothing but a four-year distraction until the real “chosen one” returns, you definitely are a Georgia Republican.

♦ If you support or pass laws to make it more difficult for minorities and other typical Democratic voters to cast ballots, you definitely are a Georgia Republican.

♦ If you want to “Take America Back” to those good ole days when people who were not white men “knew their places,” you definitely are a Georgia Republican.

♦ If you honestly believe that evil elections officials across the country conspired to have 7 million ballots illegally cast, you definitely are a Georgia Republican.

♦ If you feel that your skin color, wealth, breeding, religious affiliation and/or the square-footage of your home entitles you to certain privileges others with different qualifications don’t deserve, you definitely are a Georgia Republican.

♦ If you agree that automatic assault weapons are comparable to a Swiss Army knife, you definitely are a Georgia Republican.

♦ If you honestly think that Herschel Walker would be an ideal candidate for the U.S. Senate … wow … you definitely are a Georgia Republican.

♦ If you think in any semblance of a way that Marjory Taylor Greene is anything more than a fruitcake who’s making a mockery of the state with her inane — and insane — ramblings, you definitely are a Georgia Republican.

♦ If you think your racist and nonsensical voting record is going to fly anywhere outside the 10th Congressional district, you definitely are a Georgia Republican.

♦ If you believe the lies and propaganda being spewed on conservative talk radio, so much so that all of your political views are shaped by said lies and propaganda, you definitely are a Georgia Republican.

♦ If you’re still whining and complaining about the former president’s ill-conceived, idiotic and impossible-to-do wall at the Mexican border, you definitely are a Georgia Republican.

♦ If you think any national politician’s calls for stricter gun laws so that we might cut out some of the increasing acts of deadly violence in this country are attempts to “take away our guns,” you definitely are a Georgia Republican.

♦ If you call yourself a “Christian” and continue to support political candidates who are the antithesis of Christianity, you definitely are a Georgia Republican.

♦ If you in any way have uttered the slogan “Guns and God,” you’re not only definitely a Georgia Republican, you’re part of what’s wrong in this country. (Hint: Nowhere, not in any Bible, with the possible exception of one in one of those Texas super churches, is there anything written equating deadly weapons with God. If, however, you equate weaponry with your faith, carry on. My bad.)