T GAMBLE: A man in Spain kills and eats his mother and he’s sane

The world is sometimes a dark and dreary place. Evil lurks around every corner. And so it seems in Madrid, Spain. I recently read where Alberto Sanchez Gomez killed his mother in Madrid. Now as bad as that may be, it isn’t totally unique to Spain. I watch all those crime shows where the son or daughter kills their mother right here in the good ‘ole USA.

But 28-year-old Alberto also ate her over a 15-day time period. Now even for a Lifetime movie, that simply crosses the line. He was tried in April, found guilty and sentenced to 15 years in prison. Yes, you read that right, 15 years for killing and then eating his mother.

I’m not sure how they sentence folks in Spain for capital crimes, but if I have someone I really want to kill, I’m taking them on a trip to Spain and doing the job there. Yep, Susie is having marital problems so she talks her husband into a trip to Spain to try and work things out. I’m betting if she just kills him, but leaves out the eating him part, she gets less than 10 years. I’m taking a wild guess that the death sentence is not a concern in Spain. But if it will make everyone feel better, they did give him an extra five months for eating his mother under the desecration of a corpse statute. That sentence should cut down on this type behavior in the future.

I’m not sure how they got that number of years. Maybe one year for every day it took him to eat her. But that’s’ not all there is to the story. He was also ordered to pay his only sibling brother $73,000 in compensation for having killed and eaten his mother. I guess the going rate for a routine murder may be under $50,000, but gruesome ones must add another $25,000 or so.

The most bizarre part of this story, as if what I’ve already said isn’t bizarre enough, is the fact that his defense attorney raised the defense that he was “psychologically disturbed.” Spanish law allows this defense, and if the court finds it to be true, the defendant may get a reduced sentence or be sent to an asylum instead of prison. From what I can tell, if granted they might give the convicted guy a happy meal and Shrek figurine.

But now the really amazing part. The Spanish court ruled Alberto is not “psychologically disturbed.” Well, well, well. What in God’s name do you have to do to be considered psychologically disturbed in Spain? If only Jeffrey Dahmer had the foresight to set up shop in Madrid. I guess the Texas Chainsaw Massacre guy would be considered fairly well-adjusted over there. Ted Bundy would probably have gotten probation and anger management classes. Charles Manson would have been out of prison years ago, teaching Lamaze classes by now. I mean what else could Alberto have done to tip the scales toward being declared disturbed?

I can see the court issuing the order now: “While concerned the defendant killed his own mother and made the unfortunate decision to eat her over 15 days like a Jenny Craig mail order meal plan, we do not think that alone is enough to declare him psychologically disturbed. Perhaps if he voted for Trump or denied climate change or, heaven forbid, questioned the need for sex changes for pre-pubescent children we could find so. But he shows none of these signs, and we are confident he can be re-introduced to society when he turns 43 years of age.”

Please remind me in 15 years not to vacation in Madrid.