CARLTON FLETCHER: Boy, did this hacker target the wrong guy

Baby, you can drive my car.

— The Beatles

Taking care of a little outstanding business:

♦ Someone apparently hacked my email here at The Albany Herald. I read back over that sentence and laughed out loud.

It amuses me to think that anybody — hater, rival, Russian spy or, especially, fortune seeker — would think that there is any value in having access to my email. Except for a very few personal emails, most of which are complaints of some sort, enhancement opportunities, and countless millions of dollars that are awaiting me in various foreign lands, what you’ll find incoming are press releases of varying degrees of interest.

In the sent box … well, since I’ve been told that I’m lousy at communications, I’m afraid you’re not going to find very much.

But here’s where things get a little dicey. Our IT guru, Bill Strickland, who came to the conclusion of a possible hack after doing a little investigating (I noticed something was amiss when, at around 2 p.m. Friday, it dawned on me that I had not gotten one email since 7:20 the night before, not even from someone wanting to share their fortune with me), said someone may be using my email address to send out messages in my name.

That could be a problem.

This (alleged) hacker could be sending out emails as I speak … well, type … insulting people right and left and leaving me to answer for his or her chicanery. The hacker may be asking my friends and/or family members — well, family members — for money or access to their accounts or incriminating photos of me, hoping that the recipients will fall for their ruse and respond favorably to their requests, no questions asked. (Which shows this tech-smart individual doesn’t know squat about me or my family.)

I don’t particularly miss getting emails, many of which begin with “I usually don’t like what you write, but …” or “Hey, jerk,” and I’m so slack about answering the ones I do get (which doesn’t endear me with the boss, who is a techie), I’m not exactly up in arms over this bit of skullduggery. But I do get emails that I need to do my job (the day’s dummies and such), and some of the news releases are important.

Plus, it’s kind of unsettling to know that people may be receiving emails with my name on them that may not actually be from me. If you got one of same and it’s offensive or a plea for money or some other such necessity, please either disregard it or call me up (888-9360) to make sure the missive is from me before you respond with an expletive-laced comeback. I’d hate to think I was missing out on those.

And if you’re the person who hacked my email (if, of course, that’s what really happened), I promise you you can do a lot better. If you’ll reach out, undo your mischief, and promise not to do it again, I’ll give you some inside info on some people whose email might be worth hacking.

♦ A personal aside to the person who sent in a squawk to the Squawkbox recently suggesting that, because one of the local on-top-of-things, inside-scoop gossip social media sites had suggested so, that I might be driving around in a new car, action tied in to the city of Albany’s purchase of The Albany Herald building, thanks for giving the people who know me a good laugh at my expense. My piece-of-crap, 12-year-old, beat-to-hell Ford with closing in on 250,000 miles is not exactly the stuff that payoffs are made of. But at least you gave the people who know my vehicle reason to remind me again that I’m driving said piece of crap.

♦ One more thing to people who — sadly — contribute to those gossip sites and — sadder yet — people who read them: A person who should know better but who decided to take a shot at me because I wouldn’t do that person’s bidding insinuated (that means said) that I would not print something because of pressure I was getting from city officials. Nothing could be further from the truth. I have respect for a lot of city employees, like a few of them a whole lot and am friends with a couple. But I do not take orders (or give in to pressure) from anyone on the city’s payroll. To suggest otherwise is a flat-out lie. Which is, I would surmise, the whole point of these sites.

Staff Photo