EBONY HAZELEGER: Dealing with financial stress in a marriage

Consider this illustration: Tom and Susan have been married for seven years, earning a good salary and settling in the middle-income tax bracket. One day, Susan is laid off from her job and is able to find only a part-time job to help make ends meet. Tom is able to cover most of the bills for the first few months with his salary, but due to lack of savings, credit card debt, no emergency fund, and personal differences in spending, this made it difficult for Tom and Susan to maintain their regular monthly payments, resolve their financial problems, which worsened the financial stress in their marriage.

Due to the uncertainties in today’s economy, many marriages face financial stress at every income level due to factors such as a job losses, poor spending and saving habits, and unexpected lifestyle changes. However, the biggest financial stress that many spouses face is how each views and handles money. Anger over money can also lead to financial stress, causing communication breakdown or, even worse, panic or apprehension that sometimes force couples to the brink of a divorce. If you were to eliminate the heated conflicts, a financial plan can stand the test of time and alleviate financial stress in a marriage. Here are a few ways to get started.

Step One: Stop Your Money Problems By Asking Questions

If you want to eliminate financial stress in your marriage due to credit card debt and unnecessary expenses, both spouses need to start asking each other questions such as: Are we keeping track of our expenses? If not, why not? Are we being irresponsible with our spending? Are we keeping track of our monthly expenses? If we can change one thing about the way that we handle money, what would it be? This becomes a good conversation starter and allows both partners to start making plans on how to use and manage money. It also helps to avoid having big arguments about money by allowing couples to bring up ideas and plans. But remember, small steps are key.

Step Two: Stop Playing The Blame Game

Playing the blame game means that you are building the tendency of focusing and empowering yourself. As a team, you should be looking at your bills and other fixed expenses together. One of the best marriage money apps is Honeydue. It helps couples keep track of shared bills, keeps both accounts in one place, and allows both spouses to comment on transactions and build financial goals. If you are not tech-savvy, try using a spreadsheet to keep track of your income and expenses.

Step Three: Seek Help

Are both you and your partner having problems getting on the same page about money? Are you carrying too much debt? Are you struggling in getting a handle on your budget and spending issues? Do you need help with your short-term and long-term financial goals? Tackling your financial problems head-on as soon as you’re able to is something I strongly encourage. If you need support in reaching your financial goals, then give my office a call today.

Ebony Hazeleger is the owner and creator of Home Plan Advisors, which specializes in helping families become debt-free, maximize savings for college expenses and retirement, and establish emergency funds while minimizing risk and income taxes based on her smart money management system. For more information, call (866) 248-1871 or visit www.homeplanadvisors.com.