T. GAMBLE: Presidential field looking even worse for 2020

Some weeks are just flat-out more entertaining than others and this past week may be one of those. Not my entertainment mind you, but I’m talking about the national news in general. I first find out that not only is Kanye West planning to run for president in 2020, but Lindsay Lohan says she will run as well.

When you were told as a kid that anyone could become president, well, by God, they meant it. Those two will make Donald Trump look like a wallflower in 2020.

I really don’t know why they are waiting. I’d suggest they go ahead and enter now. This entry now could, however, cause Lindsay problems, as I don’t think her probation will let her travel out of state.

If elected, she’ll be the first female president, first president to have posed nude — excepting, of course, Bill Clinton who did not really pose nude, but I think he had his pants down almost as much as Billy Bob Duggar while president — and first to graduate from rehab more than once.

According to Kanye, he will simply be first in everything if elected.

I’ll have to wait until 2020 to see how that works out, but in the meantime there is always Lamar Odom. You know Lamar. He married one of the Kardashian sisters. I can’t keep them straight, but this sister is the one with the big rear end, if that will help any.

She filed for divorce and it was supposed to be final, but the judge has not yet signed the paperwork on his desk.

Lamar, like many men going through a divorce with a Kardashian, decided to celebrate the impending divorce by going to a Las Vegas brothel. I’m not sure about the choice of going to a brothel, but I guess it beats the last guy’s decision who was divorcing a Kardashian, which resulted in he becoming a she.

I guess he was pretty serious about it all, as he paid for a five-day stay at $75,000. That’s right, five days, not hours. I understand things may become a little pent up when a divorce is going on, but I doubt Casanova would schedule five days in a brothel. Let’s see, “Hmm, it has been awhile … how about giving me five days and a week’s supply of Viagra, which I will take in five hours instead?”

Lamar needed a little extra stimulation, so he decided to eat Viagra-type pills like candy, 15 at last count, and wash it down with liberal doses of cocaine and alcohol. This new fad diet plan, like most of these type fad diets, did not turn out too well and, after only three days, he was rushed to the hospital, stayed in a coma a few days and was then released from the hospital with his wife on Monday.

I’m not sure where he is headed, but I would note he is still owed two days at the brothel, so he could be headed back there.

I do know this for sure, if I had been at a brothel for three days, drinking steady, snorting cocaine and eating Viagra like M&Ms, resulting in a coma stay at the hospital, I seriously doubt I would want to go home with my wife. I’d have an armed guard at the door instead.

Think about this. When his soon-to-be-divorced wife arrived at the hospital, she was the legal next of kin and empowered with the ability to decide whether he should be disconnected from life support. I’m surprised she didn’t pull the plug while his manhood was still in its drug induced excited stage. By the time he gets home, he’ll wish he were back in a coma.

Man, oh, man, I can’t wait until the next Kardashian divorce. When they get through with a man, there ain’t much of a man left … maybe a woman’s left, but not much man.

Email T. Gamble at [email protected].