CARLTON FLETCHER: Choosing just the right song for the right circumstances

“And you can tell everybody that this is your song.”

— Elton John

I ask people this all the time: What’s your favorite song?

Nine times out of 10, I get the same answer, something like: Well, let’s see … there’s … no, wait, that was my favorite but now … oh, gee, I don’t know. There are too many great songs; I can’t narrow it down to just one.

Not me.

I’ve heard hundreds of thousands of songs over the years, have thousands upon thousands of said songs on vinyl and CD, and I’ve been around long enough to have heard all the great songs of the rock and roll era. But I have a favorite song. And when people ask me the favorite song question, it’s always my answer.

“Black” by Pearl Jam.

I won’t go into the merits of this one particularly great song — that’s included, by the way, on an equally amazing album, “10.” I’ll just say it’s, to me, a perfect song in every way.

Of course, “Black” may be my No. 1 perfect song of all-time, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t other perfect songs that fit other circumstances. Let’s try some of them on:

♦ Want to give someone a perfect kiss-off, clue them in as to their overinflated worth as a human being? Play Dylan’s “Positively 4th Street” for ‘em.

♦ If you want to celebrate the birth of your second male son with your first? You can do no better than Elton John’s “The Greatest Discovery.”

♦ There are love songs by the truckloads, but if you want to express to some significant other how you really feel, go with “Sky Blue and Black,” by Jackson Browne; “All I Know” by Art Garfunkel, “Spellbound” by Poco, “I’ve Been Loving You Too Long” by Otis Redding or “Miracles” by Jefferson Starship.

♦ Got a cause you believe in? Want to inspire others to join you? Go with “Volunteers of America” by Jefferson Airplane, Rage Against the Machine’s “Killing in the Name Of” or “Don’t Believe the Hype” by Public Enemy.

♦ Want to reminisce about the good ole days when Southern rock ruled but don’t want to hear the same overplayed songs of that era and genre? Listen to Henry Gross’ “Southern Band.”

♦ Need some background music to convince someone you know that drugs are not the answer to their problems? Play “Freddie’s Dead,” “Pusherman” … heck, just play Curtis Mayfield’s whole “Superfly” album.

♦ Trying to convince your offspring that their best shot at music glory is behind the drum kit? Slap on the headphones and let them listen to Led Zeppelin’s “Moby Dick.”

♦ Want a song that jumps out of the gate with a great intro? You can’t go wrong with The Beatles’ “Revolution,” CCR’s “Up Around the Bend,” The Who’s “Baba O’Riley” or Guns n Roses’ “Sweet Child O’ Mine.”

♦ Hate trendy people? Play Tool’s “Aenema” and tell them to pay attention to the lyrics.

♦ Wanna let lying politicians know what you think of all their broken promises? Play them Stevie’s “You Haven’t Done Nothing.”

♦ Know a would-be “wise guy” who’s trying to convince you he’s got tight mob connections? Play Springsteen’s “Meeting Across the River” for him.

♦ Are you a ticked-off female who wants to take few digs at the guy who had the audacity to dump you? Play him Alanis’ “You Oughta Know” and watch him cringe in fear.

♦ Tired of hearing someone (a boss maybe) who has the world handed to him on a silver platter complain about how hard his life is? Insist that he/she listen to Jamey Johnson’s “Lonely at the Top.”

♦ If you’re thinking about a career as a drug dealer (hint: that’s not a promising future, just a warning), get tips on the best places to “shop” from Rush’s “A Passage to Bangkok.”

♦ Tired of “Rock-a-by Baby” as a lullaby? You can’t do better than James Taylor’s “Sweet Baby James.”

♦ And, finally, if you want to drag somebody out of their malaise, have them listen to “The Warmth” by Incubus.

In addition to being great situational songs, these are all great songs in their own right. Certainly most music lovers have their own go-to list that helps them deal with certain circumstances. If you don’t, try these on … or send me the circumstances, and I’ll give you the perfect song … free of charge. Because no matter what you’re going through — good or bad — there’s a perfect song or six for just that situation.