GAIL DRAKE: Celebrating the importance of fathers

“Fathers, bring up your children in the nurture and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4

Denzel Washington, film actor, producer and director: “It starts in the home. It starts with how you raise your children. If a young man doesn’t have a father figure, he’ll go find a father figure. So, you know, I don’t blame the system. … If the streets raise you, then the judge becomes your mother and the prison becomes your home.”

Frederick Douglass, abolitionist, orator, writer, statesman: “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”

President Barack Obama: “Any fool can have a child. That doesn’t make you a father. It’s the courage to raise a child that makes you a father.”

The importance of fathers cannot be overstated. More wise words from distinguished leaders reflecting on the impact of their fathers:

Martin Luther King Jr., minister and civil rights leader: “I think my strong determination for justice comes from the very strong, dynamic personality of my father. … I have rarely met a person more fearless and courageous. The thing I admire most about my dad is his genuine Christian character. He is a man of real integrity, deeply committed to moral and ethical principles.”

Thomas Edison, inventor of 1,000 devices: “The best thing I learned from my dad was life doesn’t owe you a living. … I can best sum up what my dad taught in a quote: “The three great essentials to achieve anything worthwhile are hard work, stick-to-itiveness, and common sense.’”

Dallas Bryce Howard, about her father, actor and producer Ron Howard: “We lived way out in the boonies. We had goats, sheep, miniature horses and chickens. My parents taught me many of the things people need in life to feel confident: manage finances, mucking out the goat barn, cleaning house, doing repairs.”

Thurgood Marshall, U.S. Supreme Court Justice, on his father William Marshall, who he credited for instilling in him an appreciation for the U.S. Constitution and the rule of law. He recounted that his father, a railroad porter, would listen to cases at the local courthouse, then return home to rehash the legal arguments with his sons: “My dad, my brother and I had the most violent arguments you ever heard about anything. I guess we argued five out of seven nights at the dining table.”

President Theodore Roosevelt: “My father, Theodore Roosevelt, was the best man I ever knew. He combined strength and courage with gentleness, tenderness and a great unselfishness. He would not tolerate in his children any selfishness or cruelty, idleness, cowardice or untruthfulness.”

Having worked about 20 years with child dependency cases for DFCS, it is my observation that the second-most common factor in child abuse cases is unrehabilitated drug abuse. The third-most common factor is uncontrolled mental health illnesses. And the most common factor in child dependency cases is the absence of a father.

Often the fathers of DFCS children are known and have abandoned the child or are incarcerated. Sometimes the putative father is not even known. The lack of a father can have a profound impact on children.

Fortunately, a devoted single parent can often fill the gap and raise a remarkable, achieving child, though the circumstances are not ideal. Dr. Ben Carson’s mother was abandoned when her boys were very young. She refused to take on a victim mentality and raised them to be a renowned neurosurgeon and an engineer by devoting herself to their education.

This weekend, let us take the time to recognize and thank that important person in our lives. Happy Father’s Day!