CREEDE HINSHAW: Preachers can Sometimes spin stories

By Creede Hinshaw

I recently read “Autobiography: Chapters From the Life of a Preacher (1884)” by the Rev. J.W. Burke, whose ministry spanned 1854-1897 in the Methodist Episcopal Church, South. Here are two stories I think you’ll enjoy.

“I had an appointment one night in the week at a small village, where the church was built in the outskirts so as to give good hitching places for the horses, as many of the members lived in the surrounding county. Brother P___ was in charge. He is now a Presiding Elder, but he will remember this night and what happened at that church.

“The congregation was good, but the lights were poor. Kerosene oil was unknown, and churches in the country were lighted with tallow candles. What a hard thing it is to preach to a congregation that you can’t see. But I took my text and was doing my best when a general dog fight occurred in the open space in front of the pulpit. An effort was made by the various owners of the dogs to get them under control, but in vain. You can imagine the scene, perhaps.

“I at last begged them to let the dogs alone, as the owners (who ought to have left them at home) made more disturbance than their dogs. Quiet was restored and I finished my sermon. But the collection was as poor as the lights.

“Why will people allow dogs to go to church? Good people do it sometimes. I remember good Brother W___ who had a dog who used to take his place right in front of the pulpit and appeared as he looked up in the preacher’s face to understands all that he said. That was a well-mannered dog. He sat still and never disturbed either the preacher or the congregation. That’s more than can be said of some folks.” (pages 68-69)

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“After living as a widower for 25 years, Brother Jake Danforth started out hunting him a wife. He called to mind all the nice ladies he had seen, and finally determined on one. He made no inquiry about her and had not seen her in a number of years. He started off to see this lady. As he walked along, he was overtaken by a man in a buggy. This brother he knew well, and was invited by him to take a seat in his buggy. He rode some distance, and as they approached a fork in the road, Brother Danforth thought he ought to tell his friend the object of his trip. He did so, and mentioned the lady’s name.

“‘Why,’ said the brother, “she’s married – been married over two years ago.’

“’Ah,’ said Brother Danforth. “I had not heard it. Who did she marry?’

“The Brother replied, ‘She married me.’

“Brother Jake said, ‘I reckon you had better halt – and I will go back.’

“As far as we know, he never made another effort toward matrimony.” (pages 106-107)