GAIL DRAKE: Where did we get the most annoying Christmas song?

“On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me …”

And the singer brags about all the cool gifts received from their “true love” during the 12 days of Christmas. One verse builds on the prior verse, adding a gift each day, which makes a cool way to annoy family members on a long holiday road trip.

The 12th verse recites all the gifts together: “12 drummers drumming, 11 pipers piping, 10 lords a-leaping, 9 ladies dancing, 8 maids a-milking, 7 swans a-swimming, 6 geese a-laying, 5 go-old rings. … 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.”

So, hey, I’ll take the five gold rings. And … ahem … maybe one of the drummers. (Just kidding). But otherwise, it’s chickens, geese, swans, then some dancers and musicians? What do you do with all those 23 birds? According to the PNC’s annual Christmas Price Index, the cost for all these gifts in 2022 dollars comes to an eye-popping, pricey $45,000. And it makes for a lot of bird poop.

Learning the history of this canticle made an interesting read. The Twelve Days song actually commemorates the historical days of Christmas first proclaimed by the Council of Tours in 567 A.D. as “the twelve days from Christmas to Epiphany … a sacred and festive season.”

The Eastern Orthodox Church celebrated the “Twelve Great Feasts” that began Christmas Eve and celebrated various Nativity events and saints. The Western Church celebrated its own patron saints: St. Stephen on 12/26, John on 12/27, Thomas Becket on 12/29, Sylvester on 12/31. Epiphany is celebrated on Jan. 5 or 6 as the day the Magi arrived and worshipped the Christ Child. (In Matthew 2, the Magi actually arrived when the child was nearly 2 years old and lived in a house, not days after His birth.)

In the Middle Ages, this period was one of merrymaking and feasting, climaxing on Twelfth Night. Shakespeare used this holiday as the setting of one of his famous stage plays.

Modern American celebrations of Christmas begin with “Christmas creep,” a deluge of decorations and products in every store days before Halloween. Then weeks of parties, plays, cantatas, shopping, cards a-writing and gifts a-wrapping, and of course, Hallmark movies. The Christmas festivities culminate with gift-giving and Christmas dinner. The day after, the tradition of long lines for returns at WalMart. And the sad task of removing trees and decorations.

The Twelve Days song historically began in 1780 in a children’s book entitled “Mirth Without Mischief.” It was a “memory and forfeits” game in which the singers test their recall and pay a forfeit — a favor or kiss — if a line is forgotten. Early versions on the song include “bears a-baiting” and “ships a-sailing.” The modern version was composed by England’s Frederic Austin, who added the music and modernized the verses.

Contemporary renditions of the song run a-plenty, including a popular version sung by the Muppets and John Denver, and a redneck version sung by Georgia’s Jeff Foxworthy: “5 flannel shirts, 4 big mud tires, 3 shotgun shells, 2 huntin’ dogs, and some parts to a Mustang GT.” My favorite version originated with Indiana’s a cappella male chorus “Straight No Chaser,” whose 1998 performance was uploaded to YouTube in 2007, and 23 million hits later launched their careers. Google and enjoy.

So whether your Christmas festivities begin before or after Thanksgiving, let’s take time to enjoy all this holiday season brings us — beautiful décor, joyful holiday songs, special times spent with family and friends, gifts to those we love. And the reminder that the best gift of all was given to us on the very first day of Christmas. When a chorus of angels filled the night sky and sang the first Christmas carol: “Unto you is born today, in the city of David, a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.” “Glory to God in the Highest, and on Earth — peace, goodwill toward men.” Luke 2:11, 14.