JOHN WALLACE: Checks harder to cash when you’re in office

Am I the only one who is unhappy with President Trump’s performance so far? Okay, ICE is rounding up illegal immigrants (Hispanics ones, anyway) and the stock market is setting new records. But, c’mon man, three weeks in and still no wall across the Mexican border, Obamacare is still in effect and Hillary is still running around free, shooting her mouth off. The president is finding that it is one thing to write checks when you are campaigning, but people expect you to cash those checks when you get elected. Like that IOU he apparently wrote to Putin to get elected.

I am not happy about Putingate. This is not just dangerous for the president, but what happens next may be dangerous for all Americans. We cannot afford for the leader of Russia to have this much influence over the leader of America. But the more I hear, the more I think … hmm, maybe. It would explain a lot of things if it were true.

I don’t know if a tape exists for the president playing romper room with two hookers in Moscow, but it wouldn’t surprise me. It may explain why the president has isolated and insulted so many people except Putin. Muslims (2 billion), Chinese (2 billion), women, (3.5 billion), Mexicans and Central and South Americans, and Native Americans. He says blacks like him and I will take his word for it. But also on his hit list are liberal losers, the media and the Intelligence community. But even someone like me (I?), with a high school diploma from public school, can see that 150 percent of the people on this planet have been insulted by this man. The only exceptions have been Indians (the real Indians, not the Columbus Indians) and white people. Now it is possible that with everything else going on he just hasn’t got around to insulting the Indians yet, but he has plenty of time for that later. So, if you are a conservative white man like him, get some sunglasses because the future is looking real bright.

You know who else is a conservative white man? Putin. Okay, there is the whole Trump sex tape thing, And the fake news emanating from behind the Iron Curtain. Like the one about President Obama and Hillary running a child sex ring out of a pizzeria, which Gen. Flynn and his son latched onto like a dog on a pork chop. Then the Russians hacked into the Democratic National Committee database and leaked it out via Wikileaks, damaging the Democratic Party’s credibility. If they had any. Believe you me, the Russians hacked the Republican Party database, too. It just wasn’t in their best interest to release it.

And Trump’s cabinet is filled with people who are seen doing business and vodka shooters with Putin. Nazdaroyva comrade. Putin is a man who allegedly affected our elections and is allegedly doing the same in Europe. With his KGB background, this is not an allegation to be easily dismissed. And now there are reports that Gen. Flynn was cutting deals with Russia prior to the Trump administration taking office. “Don’t worry about the sanctions put in place because of your interference in our elections.” Who would say such a thing? And does anyone think the general was acting on his own, without the advice and consent of the president-elect? I find that highly unlikely.

Now, if I had done something like that I would want to make sure that this fact would never see the light of day. I would accomplish this by appointing team players in key positions to stifle any investigations. Most of the evidence exists in the intelligence community, so I would seek to discredit them and put a man in charge that had as much to lose as I did if this information got out. Cue Gen. Flynn. And then, for extra protection, I would appoint a man to the attorney general office whom I knew I could trust. Welcome aboard, Jeff Sessions.

Now, if all that failed to distract my enemy’s attention, I would pull out the big enchilada. Something big like Barney Fife would say. Something really big. So big, big isn’t the word for it. War. Nothing focuses a nation’s attention like war. All of a sudden that is all we can think about; we are at war. When our safety is being threatened, we need to turn our attention to the war effort and forget all that other trivial nonsense.

If I were North Korea, I would stop poking this hornet’s nest.

John Wallace is a Lee County resident who occasionally contributes to the Perspectives page.