T GAMBLE: Anticipating the fun of a Caitlyn Jenner gubernatorial campaign

Well, as seems to be the case these days, the news has been full of more and more bizarre events. First, I find out Josh Duggar, one of the sons of the famous Duggar family, 19 and counting, has been charged with child molestation. He was raised by a father who believes in procreating. He has 18 brothers and sisters. I wrote about this family several times.

First and foremost, if I was Ms. Duggar and Mr. Duggar began to even begin to take his pants off I would call 911 and have him charged with assault with a deadly weapon. I have no idea how they kept all the names straight. Now imagine as all the grandchildren begin to pour in from all the kids who have been taught you should have as many as you can. Let’s see, 19 times 19 equals 361. Going to a grandchild party would be like reading 1 Chronicles in the Bible … “and Josh Duggar beget Sam and Sam beget Fred and …” Three hundred sixty-one means a birthday party pretty much every day of the year.

Anyway, Josh has eight kids already, but this charge may put a damper on any efforts to break Dad’s record. Listen, I have no idea if he did anything or not, but I do know if you have 19 kids, odds are a few are going to turn out bad. I’ve got two and spend half of each day praying they will not act like I did. I was voted most likely to serve time in prison in my senior yearbook, but so far have been a big disappointment in that regard.

But, like a good infomercial, that’s not all. Caitlyn Jenner, who at one time was Bruce Jenner and on the cover of a Wheaties box before deciding to identify as a woman, has decided to run for governor. I would say, before “becoming a woman” in place of identifying as one, but last I heard he/she remains fully intact, which makes wearing a string bikini somewhat difficult. Now the good news for Caitlyn is that she at least picked a good place to run for governor as a trans woman … California. If the Duggars had been raised in California, half of them would be transsexual by now.

I’m pretty sure I could run my pot-bellied pig, Some Pig, who identifies as a full blown boar hog, for governor in California and he would get 15% of the vote, 20% if I claimed he was being discriminated against because he is a pig.

Caitlyn is actually running as a Republican. Now I’m pretty doggone conservative, and last I checked down here men dressed as women don’t usually run as Republicans. Well actually they don’t run at all, but in California Caitlyn may be considered conservative. She did say she does not believe transsexual men who have transitioned to women should be allowed to compete in women’s sports. This upsets me. If I had come around 40 years later, I could have identified as a woman and been quite a good basketball player. Somewhere my old basketball coach, Don Daniels, is reading this and saying, “No, actually you couldn’t. You first have to be able to make a wide-open shot.”

I wish Caitlyn all the best. Will she be considered the state’s first female Governor or is that also crossing the line? Will the Kardashians support her? Will Kim get naked again? Will the assistant secretary of health join her campaign team? I tell you, this should be exciting.