T GAMBLE: Grocery delivery takes the fun out of eating

I am seeing lately where it is really a big deal to get your groceries delivered to you. There are all types of services that will bring you your order and others that will bring you a pre-cooked meal every single day. You get the meal all laid out and just put it in the oven and, viola, dinner is served.

First of all, this costs a fortune. But even if it didn’t, I don’t see the big deal. When I was in college, we had the same thing. It was called a TV dinner. You could even get a Hungry Man size and be set for the evening. Hungry Man had some type of meat along with two vegetables and an unidentifiable piece of bread with every meal. Once you got the meal, it remained a mystery what type of meat you were getting unless your read the package.

These things were way before anybody read the nutritional information. They generally had enough sodium to swell up every joint in your body down to your little toe. One meal had calories enough for the whole day. Add a 12-pack of beer, and no wonder the freshmen 20 hit everybody. They were almost inedible. Almost. Amazing what a 12-pack can do to the taste buds of a 19-year-old.

I’m not sure why everybody is so hyped up about grocery delivery. Maybe it saves money, even though you pay a big delivery fee. You see when you get it delivered, you tell them a specific list of things you need. When you go to the grocery store, everybody knows you have a list of 10 items but come home with 27, including a dozen doughnuts, ice cream, two-for-one Pepsi 2 liters and on and on it goes. One should go grocery shopping only after eating a big meal.

I go in the grocery store thinking I need to cut back. No more sweet tea. No more soft drinks. No more sweets. No more rolls. Blue Bell ice cream, go to you know where. It’s going to be carrots and lettuce and broccoli. Plain white chicken meat and water. I leave the store, and it looks like I’m planning a Halloween party. I may eat a Payday candy bar on the parking lot walk to the car while drinking a 16-ounce Pepsi. I need to shop at the grocery store while wearing blinders like a horse does, turning to look down the aisle only when I reach the area that does not include the pound cake and cookies.

I’m thinking about getting a dog shock collar and wearing it in the store, shocking myself every time I reach for the junk. But, I’d probably be like an old bulldog, I’d just take the pain and get another Snickers bar. Yep, maybe I do need to sign up for home delivery. I’d get in shape and save money. But please don’t tell my wife about the shock collar. She might decide to start grocery shopping with me.