T. GAMBLE: Walk, or run, a mile in his shoes? No thanks

On Dec. 31,2022, Mr. Gary McKee, from England, set what I am pretty sure is a world record by running and completing a full marathon for 365 consecutive days. I don’t know what he must have done to deserve this, but it must be pretty bad to need to run 26.2 miles every day for 365 days. In case anyone is keeping count, that is 9,672.5 miles. I haven’t run 9,600 miles in my entire life, and if God will continue to bless me, I‘d like to keep it that way.

McKee finished, as you may notice, on New Year’s Eve. I’m not sure what I was doing to bring in the new year, but it sure as heck was not running. If, however, I had finally completed a 9,672.5-mile run that took 365 days, I’m pretty sure a few beers would be consumed before the clock struck 12.

There are really only a few reasons for me to run these days. One is if I wish to catch something. I can go ahead and tell you that I don’t want anything that I am able to catch by running. There are Gallipolis turtles that can outrun me in the 40-yard dash. I prefer motorized transportation. Secondly, I might run to escape danger. I pray to God it is a slow-moving danger, like slow-moving hot lava down a mountainside. If it is a bear or mountain lion or even a sloth, I’m probably done for.

But, Mckee ran all these marathons to raise money for a cancer support center and a hospice group. Hasn’t he ever heard of Go Fund Me? How about a bake sale? If I ran 26.2 miles just once, they would have to put me in hospice. But the article I read commemorating this accomplishment notes McKee works at Sellafield Nuclear Site. Perhaps this explains his ability to run 26 miles a day. I just don’t know.

I should applaud such an accomplishment, but truth be known I don’t want to be around anybody that runs 26 miles a day. Hell, he’d start the day in Dawson and by the end of the day be on the other side of Albany. Plus, they claim running gives one an endorphin high. You know it stimulates the glands that produce good feelings within the body. I can’t say whether that is true or not. I’ve seen too many torn up knees and bad backs caused by running so I haven’t really tried it too much.

Even when I played basketball I had long legs and just sort of walked real fast to tell you the truth. If it does stimulate endorphins, this guy should be bouncing off the wall in a flat-out euphoric state. And we all know the only thing worse than somebody who is grumpy all the time is someone who is happy all the dadgum time.

Yes, I absolutely hate somebody who is happy all the time. Admit it. You do, too. Don’t remind me I’m not bouncing around whistling 24 hours a day and leave me alone. Go on out the door and run another 26 miles, and in a few days you’ll be in Florida. I’ll stay here in Georgia, on the couch, watching TV, with the remote trying to avoid movement until tomorrow.