TARA FLETCHER: Taking charge of life’s certainties

Death is not a subject most people want to talk about, but as Bob Dylan wrote, “He not busy being born is busy dying.” All of us will die, and between now and then we will lose people we love, grieve and move on the best we can.

What happens to our “soul” after we die is greatly debated. Do we go to heaven or hell? Are we reincarnated? Do we just fade to black? There’s a lot of time spent on trying to understand the afterlife and maybe not enough time spent on understanding our time on Earth.

It’s unfortunate that many of us don’t fully appreciate the value of life or family until we’re faced with a tragedy or our own mortality.

There’s so much I don’t know about why we’re here and what’s next, but I feel certain of these things:

♦ Life is not about making more money than everyone else and buying more things. Someone once told me, “You either have time or you have money; you never have both.” But there is a middle ground where you can pay your bills and have the time and money to do things you love.

♦ Your time is the greatest gift you can give someone you love. So many people waste away in nursing homes and never get a visit from family. Parents buy their children more things than they will ever need but have no time to take them to the park or read them a book before bed.

♦ You are in control. When you allow everything to upset you, when you’re an angry, negative person, when you are not happy with your relationships … those are things you can change.

♦ Being grateful for what you have and not focusing on what you lack is a healthy habit.

♦ Last, but not least, a good life starts at home. If you have a miserable, unhappy family, you can fix it. There’s no way for the world to be a better place when people are unable or unwilling to do some serious, honest, self-reflection, followed by changing actions.

We’ve all heard that “we’re not promised tomorrow” and that we should “live in the moment.” How many tears fell while listening to Tim McGraw’s “Live Like You Were Dying.” There are so many songs and sayings with different words, but they carry the same message: to look at your life, enjoy and appreciate even the smallest things and no matter what happens to your soul when you’re dead, make sure you’ve left a trail of beautiful memories tattooed on the hearts of everyone you loved.