TARA FLETCHER: The tragedy of impaired driving hits home

You may know that my oldest daughter, Nikki, died in a head-on collision two months ago. I wrote a column about it, and I really wasn’t going to say anything else. I just wanted to quietly grieve and learn to live this new normal without her. But there’s something else I want to share.

The accident was Nikki’s fault. A few days ago, we got the toxicology report that said she was drunk when she died … well over the legal limit.

I know some people will say “She got what she deserved,” and maybe she did. She made a choice to get behind the wheel and drive knowing it was the wrong thing to do, and like so many other people thinking she was the exception to the rule.

This isn’t about my daughter, though. This is about all of the people who drive drunk or high. People just like Nikki who probably thought she was fine to drive across town and probably had done it successfully many times before.

“Don’t drink and drive” campaigns have been around for decades, but the impact seems to be minimal. That leaves us to ponder what do we should say to people when drinking to excess is glamorized and people think it’s something to brag about that they can outdrink their friends or that they don’t remember how they got home. How do you convince someone to change?

Nikki left behind an 8-year-old daughter, a sister, two brothers, and parents who are left to pick up the pieces while they mourn someone they loved dearly. She injured another person (a young woman) so badly she had to have four blood transfusions and five surgeries just to keep her alive. She had broken bones in every part of her body except her face and one arm.

That woman will recover to a point, but she will never be the same and the pain she endured and will endure is unimaginable. Nikki died instantly, but if she had lived she would have been severely debilitated, probably would have gone to prison and would have to live with the pain she caused to another family. All of that for what?

I’m not mad at Nikki. She paid with her precious life. And I certainly am not judging people who drink. But if you’re going to, while you’re thinking clearly, make arrangements for a ride home, or if you’re not sure if you can drive safely, call a family member.

From a mom’s standpoint, I would much rather have gotten out of bed to drive her home than to have seen her at the funeral home with a patched-up face and blood in her hair knowing that under the sheet her body was mangled and that that was the last time I would ever see her, touch her or kiss her beautiful face.

Please stop drinking and driving. You may think it’s your life and you’ll live it the way you see fit, but trust me, even if if you’ve done it for years, it’s a matter of time before there are consequences that won’t just affect you.

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