T. GAMBLE: This home for sale has a little extra

Late last year, I read where there was a nice home for sale with a mountain view in San Jose, Calif. The home was listed for $1.5 million and might just be out of my price range, not to mention I don’t plan on moving to California anytime soon. Now understand, a $1.5 million home in California is probably equivalent to a $300,000 home here, but anyway the ad said it had 2,700 square feet of living space.

It went on to say the house was located in a good school district, had a swimming pool, 3.5 baths, a luxury spa, solar panels and all types of fruit trees in the backyard. I mean, what is there not to like? The ad even said it was priced substantially lower than most other comparable homes in the area. I tell you, this thing is practically the bargain of the century.

Well, there was one little extra detail. The ad also said, “Home has an inactive meth lab and meth contamination.” I guess that could affect the sales price a wee bit if one is really picky. But on the other hand, after all, the meth lab is inactive.

I’m not sure about the neighborhood where this house is located in California, but there are certain areas in south Georgia where a home for sale with a pre- existing meth lab might bring a hefty premium. It takes a lot of work to build a sho-nuff good meth lab. Most folks would probably prefer it not be advertised in the listing, but otherwise I suspect there would be quite a few interested buyers.

You know this ad reminded me of years ago when I saw an ad in The Albany Herald for a used mattress for sale. The ad said, “King-size mattress for sale. Like new. Slight urine smell.” I never found out how that ad turned out for the potential seller, but I always thought “Exactly who would buy such a thing?” You know, “Come on, Clarence, let’s buy this mattress for $75. It is as good as new. Grandpa won’t know the difference. After a few days, his mattress smells like urine anyway. “

Police reports indicate the former owner of the California home lived there with his wife and three kids. This was a regular Ozzie and Harriet home, what with fruit trees and a swimming pool, except, of course for that pesky ole meth lab. The father was arrested, but he may have a defense. Who knows, maybe the home came with the meth lab when he bought it. It is California. They may be constructing new homes in California with a meth lab already included to avoid down time and to welcome potential illegal aliens who wish to buy a home.

I really don’t know very much about meth labs. I come from moonshine country. There was a time that a working moonshine still might ad quite a value to the sale of a farm. I suppose a few stills were even built into homes, but most folks kept them separate, so I’ve been told. Meth labs may be different. All I know is right now you can get a home discounted by about $200,000 if you don’t mind a little ‘ole meth lab beside the den.