B.J. FLETCHER: Caretakers deserve support from the rest of their family

There are two types of caretakers in this world: One, it’s their profession and they receive a salary. Second is a family caretaker.

And I am here to tell you, that’s a long, lonely journey, and many times these people are by themselves. I see people daily that are in that position, and they are having to give up their hopes, their dreams, their careers so they can be a 24/7 caretaker of their loved ones. And I see a majority of them doing this alone with no one to give them a break.

I also see caretakers who wouldn’t take that break if you offered it.

But there is one break you can give caretakers that they will receive, and it will help them more than you will ever know. They need a break from your mouth.

I read in the book of James about the “untamable tongue.” I have often wondered if James was a caretaker. When your loved ones call you or, at times, you call them when you have nothing to do, try listening to them. Trust me. They will be hungry for conversation. Hungry to get out of the isolated world you have helped put them in.

They don’t need your advice, your sarcasm or your opinions. They need your support. They surely don’t need to hear how “you would do it.”

Their nights are lonely, long and tiresome. They see their loved one slipping away, and they feel like their life is slipping away as well. They don’t have time to think about their future. They only have time to put out the fires that their loved ones go through minute by minute.

If you truly want to help, to be by their side, first pray daily for them. Second, call them. Drop by something you know they need. Don’t ask if they need anything. Because by now, they know you know they have needs, and you are just going through the motions.

How do you think these caretakers get groceries, go to the bank, get their lawns cleaned and their cars washed? How do you think they have time to get out, to smell the roses? They don’t. Unless you help.

So I am asking … since Mothers Day and Fathers Day are coming up, summer vacations … your loved ones who are caretakers won’t even know these times are coming. They are too busy taking care of your loved ones.

So before you get on the phone and start telling them your plans for the summer, showing them the pictures of what all you have been doing or talking about what all the rest of your family is doing, look at the recent pictures that they can share with you. Will you be in that picture with them?

It’s time for us all step up, do our part. And be selfless, not selfish.