CREEDE HINSHAW: A scowling Jesus to help increase tips?

I’ve seen many depictions of Jesus over the years. There are images, famous and not-so-famous, created in everything from charcoal to oil, from stained glass to mosaic, the latter which — at First Baptist Church, Huntsville, Ala. — is locally known as “the egg-beater Jesus.” Look it up.

But I had never before seen a Jesus depicted to make the viewer feel shame and guilt. At least not until standing at the cash register after a satisfying breakfast with my family in Columbus, Ohio.

One might not necessarily think about a depiction of Jesus found in a café. Or at least, if such a portrait were displayed, one suspects it might be reverential.

But the depiction this restaurant chose was not about the one who ate with tax collectors and sinners or the one who would have left 99 sheep in the wilderness to find the one lost lamb. There was nothing at all devotional about this print.

Standing at the cash register, fumbling for my credit card (which is one very key role for a grandparent), I glanced up into the eyes of a judgmental, almost vindictive Caucasian Jesus, long flowing brown hair parted in the middle, eyebrows arched, lips pursed, eyeballs slightly raised in boredom and disapproval as if to say, “I’ve seen it all.”

Below this grim, knowing visage were these words: “I Saw the Tip You Left.”

Everybody has tipping stories. But this is the first time I had ever seen Jesus used as a guilt-producing tip-enforcer.

That print flows naturally out of those sin-obsessed Christians who major in portraying Jesus as some cosmic policeman. Jesus as scold. Jesus as watching who is naughty and nice. Jesus who is keeping track of sin to the very smallest degree. Jesus as the one who won’t let you get away with it.

Yes, Jesus does refer in a parable (Matthew 25) about the act of separating the sheep from the goats, but the overall portrait of Jesus in the gospels is not of a guilt-producing, big brother who is watching you. It is of a man who would go to any length to find, win and love you.

Where would Jesus be in that café? Or in any restaurant? He would not be looking over customers’ shoulders to see how much they tipped, even though Jesus himself, I believe would be an extravagant tipper.

If Jesus were to be found in a restaurant today (fast food or five star), he would be in the dish room. He would be scraping dirty plates, cleaning grease traps, loading hot dishwashers, hauling garbage, commiserating with those who live from paycheck to paycheck, anonymous, underpaid and maybe working illegally. And if he were a server, he wouldn’t be scowling by the cash register.

Servers should be tipped fairly and generously. Always. The practice of tipping has its detractors, but it is the only system we have in the states. Using Jesus as a prop to increase a tip or produce guilt was a tasteless ploy that almost prompted me to reduce the 20%t I always give.