CYNTHIA CARTER: Grandmas play important family roles

EDITOR’S NOTE: Today starts a new weekly feature in SouthView, Ask Grandma. In the column each week, Cynthia Cariche Carter, an Albany grandmother, will answer a question she’s been asked, or one submitted by a reader. If you have a question to Ask Grandma, see the note at the end of the column on how to submit it.

Q: Who is Grandma?

A: Grandma is the mother of your parents, but more, she is the glue that holds the family together. She’s the person your parents go to for a helping hand, listening ear or advice. Also, she is the one who lifts you up when others have pushed you down.

Because of her love, Grandma spoils the little ones to the point where no one else would want them but her. Remember, Grandma has traveled where you’re going and, in most cases, knows you better than you know yourself. That’s why she’s always keeping a watchful eye and praying for you.

For that, you should cherish and respect the advice Grandma gives. She’s lived through the stage of life where you are and has experienced so many details, good times and bad, the beginning and ending of situations and circumstances. No matter what they were, Grandma overcame. It made her wiser and stronger because she didn’t give up.

If you have a grandmother, please love and respect her. Throw your arms around her and show her how you feel. That’s the best gift you can give her.

There’s another role grandmothers play, which is raising their grandchildren. Circumstances have caused her to take the mother role almost without choice because she wants to keep the children in the family. This is a hard role for some grandmothers because times have changed so drastically. There’s a big difference in how she raised her children and raising children today.

Years ago, grandmothers lived with the family in extended families. Owing to her longevity, her presence provided invaluable opportunities for parents and children. She assisted with household chores, and her knowledge and experience were invaluable in training the children. Today, many grandmothers live in assisted living or senior housing.

I came up in a time when children were mandated to respect their elders and to not talk back. The children of this modern generation where technology has taken over do not respect their elders as they should. They look at older people as old folks who do not know or understand what is happening today.

The one thing they don’t realize is we did not come into the world as adults. We also were children. Because of our childhood experiences, we have so much knowledge that we could pass on to the younger generation. If they would listen, they could appreciate the wisdom and knowledge as it is given. But they live in a modern world and are exposed to modern things.

Also, today’s grandmothers are much younger with less experience. Because children are smarter, they enter the world ready to control you. Look into their little eyes. I bet you can tell what they want when they can’t even talk yet.

Growing up, most of them are mirrors of their home and environment. Some of them lack the love and discipline that is much needed. This is the role the older grandmothers played. They loved you and disciplined you at the same time. They believed a child should remain in a child’s place. Today, children think it’s OK to say anything, when it’s not.

Manners and respect are home-taught. The children won’t known unless we teach them. Children are our future and we have to prepare them for the real world they will be living in. They must know the difference between right and wrong. The lesson should be taught as the child grows. They may stray, but if they are taught, they will know the difference as to how to act and behave.

Grandmothers have been and still are some of the most important figures in the rearing of a child. If there’s anything you want to know about life, just ask Grandma.

If you have a question to Ask Grandma, email [email protected] and include “Ask Grandma” in the subject line. You also can mail questions to Ask Grandma, c/o The Albany Herald, P.O. Box 48, Albany, GA 31702. Phone-in questions also can be left on our Bright Side comment line, (229) 888-9351.