CYNTHIA CARTER: The only time you should look back is to see the way ahead

As we begin our new year, let’s stop and review the old year, some of the things we did, as well as things we wanted to do but didn’t.

Don’t make promises you’re not going to keep. Get a piece of paper, fold it in half and write “Things I did differently.” Not everyday routine, but things like bought a car, moved, enrolled in school, took a trip, joined the church, etc.

On the other side, write, “Things I would like to accomplish.”

When you’re finished, put the paper in an envelope, say a little prayer and place it in a safe place. You can always add to your list when things pop into your mind.

Review it at the end of the year and you will be surprised by what you will have accomplished. This is a good way of moving your life forward and knowing what you are doing. It’s keeping inventory for you, which is good. We should not just go through life aimlessly. We should always be aware of what we are doing, why we are doing it and what is happening around us.

You’ve heard the expression “Life is what you make it.” Some of that is true. Sometimes we do things, not always knowing why. That’s when we use the expression “God only knows.” In a lot of cases, He is the only one who knows. We can be led and guided if we humble ourselves,

Life seems complicated at times, but it’s really simple. We complicate it by doing what we think we know. We should always have more than one plan for accomplishing something. We should keep trying until we succeed.

Failing doesn’t mean you’re a failure. Because you want something doesn’t mean it’s right for you. Failure sometimes means there’s something better in store for you. Like I said, just because we want it doesn’t mean it’s right for us. Lord knows there are many things I wanted and, when I got them, I wished I’d never had them.

You know how when you pray for something and you get it, you’re so happy? Just wait. Misery is on its way. After that, you become very careful of what you ask for. He will give you the desires of your heart.

Life teaches us so much. Why couldn’t we have known what we know now when we were young? Well, I guess it wasn’t meant to be. When I used to ask questions, no one would give me answers. Maybe they just didn’t know how to answer them.

That’s the conclusion I came to after talking to an aunt of mine. She said I was always talking and asking questions. Because of talking and asking questions, I learned a lot. I also learned to listen, which is a wiser thing to do as you mature. When you’re talking a lot, you’re thinking of what to say next, but when you listen, you hear everything that is being said.

I’ve learned to be a listener, not a talker. I only speak when it’s necessary and talk about things of interest. Don’t get me wrong. I love a good conversation. I get excited when we talk about things of interest, but I do not like gossip. It’s a waste of energy and time and, as I see it, it is not helpful in any way to spread hurtful things about people.

Each year should be a better year. Look back only to look forward. Good memories already will be in your mind and will remain there forever. Those memories will bring smiles to your face.

Ask Grandma is a weekly column written by Cynthia Carter. If you have a question to Ask Grandma, email it to [email protected] and include “Ask Grandma” in the subject line. You also can mail questions to Ask Grandma, c/o The Albany Herald, P.O. Box 48, Albany, GA 31702. Phone-in questions can be left on our Bright Side comment line, (229) 888-9351.