Ease up the stress of the holidays

ATHENS — Does the stress of Thanksgiving hit like a sledgehammer? Is Googling new recipes the night before the feast to find the perfect sides part of a holiday plan? Does a relative want Grandma’s cornbread stuffing instead of the Stouffer’s stuffing on the menu? Is the family expecting that favorite traditional pie or cake?

Let’s face it: The holidays look picture-perfect in the media, but in reality, they may not be so full of harmony and smiles. Hosting a Thanksgiving meal means giving careful attention to all the details, like the guest list, place settings, menu, and time of day, in addition to the cooking, cleaning and entertaining.

Now is the perfect time to take action to alleviate Thanksgiving stress. Make 2017 a less stressful holiday season by following these steps from the University of Georgia Cooperative Extension.

— Plan ahead. Take note of what worked well in past years and repeat those things. Don’t force things that didn’t work well in the past. Make a general plan of menu items that will be served, day and time for shopping and when to start thawing the turkey. Decide what dishes and serving trays will be used – think about disposable items to make life easier. The family will remember how the special meal made them feel, more than they’ll judge every detail.

— Don’t go it alone. It may be simpler to take control of everything alone, but it is an easy way to burn out. Ask for family assistance and become the delegator. If someone else makes perfect pies or delicious stuffing, let them take that task. Designate a coordinator who plans the menu and asks others to bring a side item. This gives everyone the chance to display their cooking talents. The family will appreciate the more relaxed atmosphere, and working together gets everyone in the holiday spirit.

— Resist the urge to buy new things or feel the pressure to try new recipes. Now is not the time to channel the inner Martha Stewart or redecorate the living room. Go with what’s tried and true. Classic holiday foods have many fond memories attached to them, and there is no need to reinvent the wheel. If trying new things is a desire, try no more than one new recipe.

— Set realistic expectations for family affairs. All families have disagreements, and that’s OK. With so many people in close quarters, tempers can run high. Sometimes those disagreeable moments are the ones we laugh about down the road. Since time machines are not available, it is important to find a way to live in the now.

— Consider a seating chart. Even though seating charts may sound formal, it can take the awkwardness out of finding a place to sit, especially if guests are unfamiliar with each other. A well-crafted seating chart can eliminate conflict and generate free-flowing, positive conversations. If there is one person that always “stirs the pot,” place him or her at the end of the table, perhaps nearest those who won’t be influenced or upset by their remarks. Place attention seekers at the other end of the table so they don’t monopolize the conversation. In the center, seat the extroverts who have never met a stranger so that they can make everyone feel at home.

Take the pressure off by sharing both the love and the responsibilities this holiday season. Let the holiday season be fun and relaxing. Enjoy the company of friends and family and take time to remember what the holidays are all about.

Alexis Roberts is the University of Georgia Cooperative Extension family and consumer sciences agent in Bartow County. MaryBeth Hornbeck is the University of Georgia Cooperative Extension family and consumer sciences agent in Rockdale County.