MANDY FLYNN: Husbands can be so annoying sometimes

A woman in Wisconsin turned in her husband to police because he was getting on her nerves.

If only that were something we could truly do. I can’t be certain, but I’d be willing to bet there are more than a few wives out there who secretly wish they could place their husbands in a room somewhere for just a little while, at least long enough for her to get past the feeling she wants to strangle him with the shoelaces of his workout shoes that he left right in the middle of the bathroom where she’d trip over them … again. Or bury him underneath the nine bed pillows he crumples up and never straightens after he takes a nap all over them. Or force him to eat an entire Sam’s Club oversized jar of peanut butter all at once because he couldn’t bother to screw the top back on.

But I’m just speculating.

I will admit my husband gets on my nerves from time to time. Pretty normal, I’d say.

There’s a fella in Roswell, Ga., who gets on his wife’s nerves all the time, but he’s found a way to turn it into a moneymaker. I first learned about him the day I walked into the bedroom to find my own husband lying on the bed, the computer in his lap, laughing.

I won’t mention the fact he had strewn my perfectly appointed pillow array and folded two of them unnaturally under his head and crammed two others under his armpits. At least he was comfortable. And laughing. I like to laugh. So he showed me the videos he was watching of BatDad.

If you haven’t heard of BatDad, you should. If you want to see BatDad, Google him. His name is Blake Wilson, and a couple of years ago, he picked up a $10 Batman mask during a random shopping trip, and his life has never been the same. He spends his time making short videos of himself as BatDad, aggravating the stew out of his children and his wife, Jen.

The first time I saw Jen’s face, I understood completely what she was feeling. It was one of those looks that speaks volumes without a word being uttered. He was getting on her nerves. In a big way. Especially when he pops up out of nowhere wearing the mask and yells, “Jen!”

My own husband used to think it was hilarious to hide behind the door, jump out and scream “Mandy!” when I least expected it. I don’t know if it was his scaring the bejeezus out of me or my realizing I may not be as continent as I once was that made me the most mad. Mad enough to pull his toenails out or force him to cuddle with the television off while major sporting events are on.

Could Jen feel the same way?

Probably. Rightly so. Only, now that BatDad has become an international sensation with a book deal, it’s most likely easier for her to swallow her aggravation and feel less inclined to kill him. I must say, if FlynnDad got a book deal for leaving the top off the peanut butter jar, I’d forgive him.

The woman in Wisconsin who turned in her husband to the police because he got on her nerves, she had the right idea. She said she always intended to go back and get him. She just needed a little time away.

That’s all it takes for a happy marriage. Time. A little patience. Love. A little more patience.

And maybe, just maybe, a few less pillows on the bed.

Visit lifestyles columnist Mandy Flynn’s webpage, www.mandyflynn.com.