CREEDE HINSHAW: Gratitude is too rarely expressed

Perhaps I have naively assumed that gratitude simply comes naturally. But that is not what Clare Ansberry reports in the Wall Street Journal (Nov. 14) in “Cultivating a Life of Gratitude.” Citing various studies, she notes:

— Only 52 percent of women and 44 percent of men express gratitude consistently.

— People who express gratitude more frequently are more likely to be married than single and more likely to be “religious or spiritual”.

— The age group least likely to express gratitude: 18-24-year olds.

— Only 10 percent of people (in one survey) expressed gratitude or thanks to co-workers.

I cannot vouch for the scientific validity of these studies. Some of the responses would depend on how the questions were asked. But I still find myself amazed that roughly 50 percent of us express gratitude inconsistently.

Thinking back to my life as an 18-24 year old is almost too far to remember, so I am not sure how grateful I was back then. But as I think about life these days, I hope I am a person who is openly, positively grateful for life’s blessings.

This morning I went to a local coffee shop that participates in a rewards program where you can build up points to eventually receive a free cup of coffee. The store manager told me – quite apologetically – that they could no longer use that program. She offered various reasons, but I told her – not long after having read the gratitude article – that she owed me no apology.

If the biggest tragedy in my day was losing points that might have given me a cup of coffee, it would be a very good day, indeed. The shop didn’t have to give me a free cup of coffee in the first place. It had been all gift from the beginning anyway.

I told her not to fret over it. It cost me nothing to be grateful and relieved her of a potentially angry customer.

Perhaps my coffee shop story seems trivial. We should be grateful for larger, more significant things, you say. But cultivating the ability to be grateful every single day is crucial. Most of us face life changing circumstances, for better or worse, only rarely. But every day something happens – often without any initiative on our part – that can elicit an attitude of thanksgiving.

One disclaimer: I can be as curmudgeonly as any other senior citizen. I like myself better for the way I responded in the coffee shop than the way I had reacted 24 hours earlier on the telephone with a faceless, anonymous representative whose help was sluggish at best.

Your Thanksgiving meal may be over by the time you read this column. But one doesn’t have to wait another 364 days to express appreciation and thanksgiving. Today would be a very good day to begin speaking, writing about, praying over and thinking about that for which you are grateful. Final note: I’m grateful to have this opportunity to interact with readers of The Albany Herald on a weekly basis.

Email Creede Hinshaw, a retired Methodist minister, at [email protected].