HALEY KENNEDY: Bearing witness to the ultimate love story

It’s just a faded old photograph. The colors have dimmed. The clothes haven’t been fashionable in years. The young couple in the center of the photograph are smiling widely, having just committed their lives to one another. It’s a charming and candid moment. I wonder if they had any idea exactly what it was they were signing up for that day.

There is no grand white gown to mark the occasion. No tuxedos and furs. Just a simple celebration of a new beginning and a commitment to always love each other, no matter what. It’s an easy enough promise to make, but living up to it sure isn’t always a walk in the park. Lacking the pomp and pageantry of more formal wedding portraits, I can’t help but appreciate the sweet simplicity of a moment perfectly frozen in time.

It’s not too difficult to recognize the woman as she stands now, hands on her hips in a characteristic gesture, fussing at her husband of almost 64 years. He’s done something to irritate her as usual. I catch a phrase or two about his medicine. The daily grind of caregiving. So basic, so necessary. Did she give him this pill? Of course she did. Did he take it? He thinks so.

I try not to laugh when I see the mischievous twinkle in his eye when he looks over at me. That twinkle is clear in the photograph, though the eyes have seen 64 years of life since it was taken. He’s teasing her. She huffs, throws her hands up in the air in aggravation and starts buzzing around in the kitchen. My Pop and I smile at our shared joke. It’s not the first time his sly smile and teasing have gotten him in trouble. And it certainly won’t be the last.

Since that old photograph was first taken, the beautiful, dark-haired girl grew into a wife who cared for her husband’s mother and brothers like her own blood. The young couple became parents. They had two daughters of their own. Then he lost his sister-in-law and his brother in quick succession and their family grew to include two young nieces. They faced unbelievable loss and innumerable blessings.

They worked hard, raised their family, made a home and a life together. They both made sacrifices and gave of themselves. In the world around them, wars raged, politics swung wildly between extremes, violence and hate ran rampant, and social attitudes finally started making some progress. They’ve changed with the times in so many ways. And yet they’ve always been a constant, anchoring force, not only for each other but for their growing family.

But theirs isn’t a sappy love story that would make Nicholas Sparks fans swoon. Its not candlelight and grand gestures. It’s more of an homage to the hard, unforgiving work that it takes to make a life together. The give and the take. In my almost 30 years of life, I’ve seen them struggle and celebrate through obstacles that would reduce lesser people to rubble. They stick together. They persevere. It’s so much less about the Hollywood idea of marriage being all about roses and romance and more about loving each other and being there for one another through all of the good, the bad and the ugly.

To me, their love looks like her caring for him when he’s driving her crazy. When she’s worn ragged and done too much and she’s starting to feel her age. To me, their love is always setting a good example for their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. To me, their love is the tiny look of relief on her face when she looks over at him while he sleeps and sees that he is breathing and comfortable. It’s in the way he smiles at her and teases her and the boyish way he giggles at her when she dozes off in her chair. It’s also in the funny faces she makes when he’s getting on her nerves. It’s a million tiny moments, wrapped into one decadeslong and perfectly imperfect package.

People say it’s sweet how they hold hands when they’re walking. She laughs and says they’re just holding each other up. And I can’t think of a more perfect way to describe their lives together — throughout it all, they just keep holding each other up.

I think that this is the absolute best we can hope for in life — a hand to hold when we’re stumbling, support to endure the worst that life has to offer, and a loving smile to help us hold our heads up through it all. After all, beauty fades like this old picture, and so do roses and romance. But unswerving devotion and a commitment to sharing a beautiful life together? That is the ultimate love story.