SCOTT LUDWIG: Once upon a time In Iran

In 1984, Sergio Leone released “Once Upon a Time In America,” his epic film about crime in the United States in the 1930s. It’s almost ironic that the two major stars of the film, Robert De Niro and James Woods, are now polar opposites with regards to the political climate in our country.

De Niro vocally opposes the current administration, while Woods has been known to promote a conspiracy theory or two and make false claims about historical events – which makes his political inclinations rather obvious.

It would have been interesting if Sergio Leone was still around to make a sequel, set in modern-day Iran. He won’t, because he’s been dead for more than 30 years – and anyway he would have trouble recognizing the world as it is today.

After all, when Leone was still alive:
— If the United States was involved in a conflict with a foreign country, the reason didn’t
change from one moment to the next.
— The Secretary of Defense didn’t have more tattoos than the drummer in Blink-182.
— The Homeland Security Secretary was well aware that Iran and Iraq are two different
countries …
— … and the President of the United States could find both of them on a map.

No, Sergio Leone wouldn’t recognize today’s America, where lunacy and lies now occupy the spots where logic and facts used to be. Besides, Leone was known for directing “Spaghetti Western” films like “A Fistful of Dollars” and “For a Few Dollars More,” which, come to think of it, pretty much describes the modus operandi of a certain POTUS we know all too well.

There was a lot of blood spilled in Leone’s films, something that has become all-too familiar with whatever it is the current administration is currently doing in Iran. But Leone’s movies also had something that the current administration does not: a sense of morality. Once all was said and done, the good guys came out on top.

Who knows how whatever it is that is going on in Iran will end – particularly since there does not appear to be any clear-cut reason or objective for what is taking place from one day to the next. How is it that the President of the United States, the commander-in-chief, and Pete Hegseth, the Secretary of the DOW (not the one Pam Bondi brings up in hopes of changing the subject, but the former Department of Defense, which is now the Department of War), can’t even agree on one of the most important issues in the country at the moment?

Is it a war, or simply a “short- term excursion?” Will the conflict be resolved soon, or could it last throughout the year – or even longer? And just exactly what was the purpose of attacking Iran in the first place? The reasons vary depending on whom you ask.

It could be any or all of the following:
— To destroy Iran’s missile capabilities.
— To annihilate Iran’s navy.
— To prevent Iran from developing nuclear weapons. (Side note: isn’t that what was accomplished with Operation Midnight Hammer in 2025?)
— To ensure the regime will be unable to arm, fund, and/or direct terrorist armies outside
its borders.
— The president just had a hunch that the time was right.

Personally, I think it’s the latest diversion to distract attention from the Epstein Files. Consider this: After killing Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, Trump thought Iran would be calling him to “see who he’d like’ to be the next leader of their country.” It’s almost like he was going to choose who should manage his favorite McDonald’s. (Khamenei’s son, Mojtaba, stepped in.Trump says he is an “unacceptable” choice.)

Trump simply does not understand what he’s done. For the time being, Hegseth says Trump “controls the throttle” of the war with Iran and that it will end “on our timeline.” As for Trump, he believes the world stands in awe of him at the moment.

They’re not in awe, Mr. President. What they are is laughing. And if one day someone decides to turn this debacle into a movie, it will have to be a comedy. Ivan Reitman, the director of “Animal House,” could have made it, except he passed away in 2022.

I know just the right person to make it into a movie: whoever filmed “Melania.” Someone told me it was downright hilarious. Or maybe the word was ridiculous.