SCOTT LUDWIG: Texas: The mess out west

Texas – once a proud and respected member of the United States of America – has turned into a joke. Actually it’s become the brunt of many jokes, after a winter storm of epic proportions earlier this year literally froze Texans in their tracks. Here’s one of them:

Question: What’s the difference between taxes and Texas?

Answers: Taxes can keep your electrical grid operational.

Granted, that was probably a little below the belt. Let’s try another:

Question: What’s the difference between taxes and Texas?

Answer: At no point have my taxes ever been frozen.

I’ll stop now. But the point I’m trying to make is this: The state of Texas is – literally and figuratively – a punching bag. Putting aside the failure of the largest state in the continental United States’ electrical grid during that winter storm in February 2021, during which the state experienced shortages of water, food, and heat as 4.5 million homes and businesses were without power and upwards of 700 people lost their lives, things only get worse.

After all, the state is being run by a triumvirate of clowns you wouldn’t trust operating a lemonade stand in your front yard.

· Attorney General Ken Paxton has been under indictment since 2015 on securities fraud charges relating to activities prior to taking office (he’s pled not guilty). In October 2020, several high-level assistants in his office accused him of bribery, abuse of office, and other crimes. Paxton also filed the unsuccessful Texas v Pennsylvania case in the Supreme Court challenging the results of the presidential election, and spoke at the Jan. 6 rally that preceded the attempted insurrection at the Capitol. There’s more, but it’s time to move on. Feel free to research Paxton on your own. Just keep this in mind: He’s not the Head Clown, not by a long shot.

♦ Senator Ted Cruz, who flew with his family to Mexico during the aforementioned winter storm because his daughters “requested the trip” after their home lost power, huddled around fireplaces, and learned school was canceled. Cruz said his daughters “wanted to travel somewhere warmer,” so he and his wife decided to go along as “good parents.” Good parent? Maybe, but a good senator does not bail on his constituents. After the election, Cruz was one of the most adamant supporting (No. 45’s) claims that the presidential election was illegitimate. This would be the same Ted Cruz who has called (No. 45) – in no particular order – a “pathological liar,” “a serial philanderer,” “a sniveling coward,” a “New York bully,” and a “small and petty man who is intimidated by strong women.”

♦ Finally, the governor of the great (debatable, at this time) state of Texas, the Head Clown himself: Greg Abbott. Some people are born with keen political instincts, and some people are born as Greg Abbott. Under Gov. Abbott’s watch, his state was tragically unprepared for the previously mentioned winter storm that took weeks to recover from. Under his watch, each county in Texas was allowed only a single ballot box for the presidential election (in one county alone, that meant 4.7 million potential voters). Under his watch, the Texas Heartbeat Law was signed into law, effectively banning most abortions in the state. (A subsequent law – I’ll call it the “Billy the Kid provision” — allows private citizens to sue anyone “aiding and abetting” an abortion, and should they successfully block a pregnant woman from getting an abortion, they could receive a $10,000 “bounty.” Just like in the days of the Wild, Wild West.) Under his watch, COVID restrictions were constantly downplayed – most notably by Abbott himself – while his state alone accounts for close to 10% of all nationwide COVID-related deaths.

Then again, this clown show shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise, considering they were voted into office by other Texans who:

♦ Surrounded a Biden campaign caravan on a Texas highway with a group of cars and pickup trucks – many adorned with large (No. 45) flags – in an effort to intimidate Biden supporters. (Freedom of speech? Not in Texas, y’all.)

♦ Attacked a Democratic Party Office with a Molotov cocktail. (The perpetrator – the coward – ran like the wind afterward. There should be a $10,000 bounty on him.)

♦ Submitted a petition signed by 25,000 residents – that ultimately failed — to the White House requesting that Texas be allowed to secede from the United States and create its own government. (A missed opportunity, perhaps – at least for the rest of us. Had they asked, I’m sure there were a lot of people around the country who would have been glad to sign that petition. Starting with me.)

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People from the Lone Star State have a saying: “Don’t mess with Texas.”

It makes me wonder: At this point in time, why would anyone even want to?

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Question: Ken Paxton, Ted Cruz, and Greg Abbott are stuck on a deserted island. Who survives?

Answer: Texas.