T. GAMBLE: A real longshot for the NBA

Having just endured another birthday, I know what it is like to begin to realize that maybe, just maybe, some of my dreams and goals from my youth have become unattainable.

Apparently, however, Calvin Roberts of Las Vegas, Nev., does not share my pessimistic attitude towards youthful goals that have now vanished like the slide rule.

You see, according to Fox News, Calvin is pursuing his dream of playing in the NBA.

This dream is shared by many school-age kids throughout the land. They may be 5 foot 2 inches tall and weigh 125 pounds, but yet they still dream of playing for Golden State. Most will be lucky to start for a high school team and nothing more.

Calvin though was actually drafted in the early rounds of the NBA draft. So far, so good, as that seems to be a possibility. Unfortunately, it was the 1980 NBA draft, and he was cut from every team he tried out for.

He is now 61 years old and serious about trying to make a NBA team. I don’t think I will nominate Calvin for entry in Mensa anytime soon, but I must give him a big gold star for persistence and optimism.

Calvin says, “I’m trying to get myself into shape.”

Well, buddy, so am I. I’m only three years behind and I wouldn’t try to enter a skee ball tournament for fear I might throw out my shoulder. Getting in shape now means walking to and from the mailbox without taking a break.

But, Calvin says further, “I’m getting in a summer league. I know there is a team that may need me.”

I’m no expert on NBA team needs. I’m also no NBA draft expert, but I can state with pretty much certainty that any team that needs a 61-year-old power forward may not be the team I wish to pick to win the championship next year. I’ll also go out on a limb and say if he is drafted, somebody on the drafting team may need to look for a new job next year.

Calvin finally adds, “I know I’m getting older.”

Well now, duh huh. Do you know you are getting older? Let’s add up all the 60-plus-year-old folks playing ball in the NBA. OK, so far, zero.

So, let’s expand the list to include all-time 60-year-old players to ever play in the NBA. Oh, sorry, still at zero.

Let’s move it to 50 and older. Oops, still zero. Wow, I’m pretty sure the Vegas oddsmakers will have this one at maybe, what, a billion to one? Trillion to One? About the same odds as Trump beating Hillary for president? See, it could happen I guess.

Well, who am I to deny Calvin his dream of playing in the NBA? I wish him much luck on his endeavor. And as for me, I will continue my childhood pursuit of becoming a real life Indian. Now that gender identity no longer exists, it is only a matter of time before heritage identity is also out the window.

Now, if only slam dunks, full court presses and three pointers cease to exist, Calvin will be in the NBA.

Email columnist T. Gamble at [email protected].