T GAMBLE: Coming in late on newest crazes

I’ve been thinking lately about all the crazes that seem to pop up every year in America, usually driven by teenagers or college kids. I’m not sure; maybe they pop up in every country. But it seems like America has more than its fair share.

When I was very little, a little before my time, everyone was trying to see how many people they could fit in a Volkswagen Beetle and then how many would fit in a phone booth. I don’t think you can try either of those now. Folks now are so fat, only two or three will fit in a Beetle bug, and I don’t think a single kid in America even knows what a phone booth is, unless maybe they have seen an old Superman movie. (You know he use to change in a phone booth from Clark Kent to Superman. I have not kept up with Superman lately, so I have no idea how he changes now.)

Kids today seem to favor dangerous crazes like eating Tide pods and trying to jump up over a moving car as it speeds toward them. Folks my age had a better idea. We got naked and ran around college campus or shot nekkid across the street. Ray Stevens even had a No. 1 song called “The Streak.”

Now, I’m not sure that was a great idea, but for the most part it was harmless unless you saw Two-Ton Tommy trying it out. Therein lay the problem. Nobody that looked worth a darn naked ever streaked. I think there was a rule that you had to be repulsive before you could strip naked and run, sort of like a feminist protester that gets naked. Or like going to a naked beach, which I would never, ever consider stepping foot upon, but I have heard from reliable sources that anyone on them should immediately put their clothes back on.

But really, how do these things get started anyway? I mean who first tried to stuff a phone booth full of people, and then why did everyone across the nation decide it seemed like a good idea and try it, too? To me, it is proof positive that we are a nation of lemmings willing to follow almost anything.

Can you imagine being at a party and someone says I think I will eat a Tide pod, and then five minutes later someone else saying I’ll eat your one and raise you two? Please understand, I am aware the Tide pod craze has subsided. Everyone is dead. But, there is another stupid craze right around the corner.

Yes, before long everyone will be doing the Macarena or hula hooping across America. I recently saw where kids are setting themselves on fire with lighter fluid. Now there’s a craze that seems like a whole lotta fun. I personally prefer my crazes to involve actions that do not include the risk of death. I know, that is just a crazy quirk of mine.

I guess it really doesn’t matter. By the time I figure out a craze is going on, it’s been over for two years. But if you see one starting, please let me know. I’m still trying to figure out how they get started.

Email T Gamble at [email protected].