T GAMBLE: Coming to non-gender-specific terms with ‘awoman’ logic

Some time long ago, someone said you can never underestimate the American public’s intelligence. I think it should be revised to say you can never underestimate the U.S. Congress’s intelligence.

I’ve seen a lot in my day on this wonderful Earth, but the last week of congressional action takes the cake. We have a disputed presidential election, an ever-growing budget shortfall, COVID-19 running wild, homeless veterans, health care costs out of control … So what does Congress do? Well, of course, they first have a multi-religious prayer, which is no religion at all by the way, and conclude by saying “amen” and “awoman.” There are a few things certain in life and one is you can’t hide stupid long, and this guy further proved that.

But that was not enough for the carnival show. They also proposed doing away with all gender-specific words. Well, now, howdy do, I don’t know how that will go down in San Francisco, but I can go ahead and tell you it ain’t going to go down pretty here in the South. Words that are no longer allowed in the House of Representatives include “father,” “mother,” “daughter,” “son,” “brother,” “sister,” “uncle,” “aunt,” “first cousin,” “nephew,” “niece,” “husband,” “wife,” “father-in-law,” “mother-in-law,” “son-in-law,” “daughter-in-law.” etc.

Listen, I’ll be damned if I’m going to start saying, “How is your parent and them?” instead of “How is your Mama and them?” That just will not happen. I have no idea how I am to refer to my own mother and father. “Parent” alone does nothing to distinguish one from the other. So, I guess I will start saying, “Let me introduce you to the parent who gave birth to me, and this is my parent who provided the seed.” Wow, that is very comforting.

I’ll say this one more time: There are, biologically, only two genders. That is the science that everyone says we should make sure and follow. There are no other groups except imaginary ones created by people to meet whatever need they have. I’m fine with that; call yourself whatever you want. But Mama is Mama, and Daddy is Daddy, and my boy is my boy, and my daughter is my daughter.

We’ve gone from specific language to non-specific. They suggest calling your boy or girl child, your child, which designates nothing, and your brother or sister, sibling, which also designates nothing. So, I will refer to my female sibling as “This is my sibling that menstruates,” and for a brother, “This is my sibling that needs to wear a cup when playing baseball.”

Now I confess, just saying brother or sister would be a lot easier. But who I am to argue with awoman logic?