T GAMBLE: Constant battle of Nighttime, Morning guys

As life goes on, most people, I suspect, have encountered at least one or two people that appear to have a split personality. You know, at the very least, somebody who is super nice one day and impossible to get along with the next. I recognize there are moody people, and bipolar people, and just plain old grumpy people. But I’ve now determined that I have a split personality of my own, which I suspect many other people suffer from as well.

I have lived my whole life with morning personality and late-night personality. These two competing “persons” control my life, not always in a good way.

For example, I get home from work but know I need to go back to the office to do a few things so that my next day will not be so hectic. I plan on doing just that, but good-time Mr. Nighttime says, “Don’t worry about it now. You worked hard. You are tired. Just stretch out in the Lazyboy and watch Oak Island or the basketball game. You can just get up early tomorrow and go in and get it done. Set the alarm a couple of hours early and it will be just the same as if you went in tonight.”

I do just that and set my alarm extra early, which will give plenty of time to still do all I need. The next morning when the alarm goes off, Mr. morning says, “Go back to sleep. You need your rest. That stuff at the office can wait until tonight. You’ll have time to take care of everything when you get in, you’ll just need to work steady and take a short lunch break.”

Mr. Morning should be a motivational speaker as he is very persuasive. Off goes the alarm, and welcome to a day from you know what with 12 hours of work crunched into 10. But, by gosh, I got my sleep.

This routine goes on endlessly. Nighttime says wait until the morning, morning says wait until nighttime and I stay scurrying around like a one-legged man on roller skates. I go to a weekday party with every intention of leaving by 10, but Nighttime says, “Come on, you hardly ever go out. Just stay another hour. You’ll still get six hours of sleep, that’s enough.” Three hours later, old Nighttime is saying, “Two in the morning isn’t really that late. You can gut tomorrow out at work; the party is just getting started. “

The next day, Morning says, “Tonight you are going home and going to bed early. No more staying up. You need sleep.”

Funny, Morning sounds a lot like mama. But, after work, get home, time to hit the hay at 10 to catch up and Old Nighttime says, “Come on. You act like you are an old man. Stay up and watch ‘Ancient Aliens.’ Going to bed at 12 is fine.” The threat of becoming an old man is enough to rally me to watch “Ancient Aliens,” even though I don’t believe in aliens but I do like to look at the crazy UFO guy’s hair.

Finally Saturday comes, and I plan to get up at a reasonable hour so I can do some needed put-off yard work or repair work. I’ll sleep a little late but still get up by at least 8, except Morning says, “Hey, you’ve worked hard all week. Stay in bed. You can do the yard work tomorrow. Rest little child.”

And so I do. And the cycle continues Sunday, and next weekend, and the next and some days I wonder how I ever get anything done. I guess I’ll have to ask Nighttime guy. He seems to know how to get things done.

Email T Gamble at [email protected].