T GAMBLE: How about some common sense with COVID-19 rules?

This whole mask-wearing thing related to COVID-19 is about to wear thin with me. Now I realize there are views on both sides of the fence concerning whether one should wear a mask, does it really prevent disease spread, etc. I’m not about to jump into that debate right now. I have my opinion, but it shall remain just that, my opinion.

But there are a few extremes that even I cannot take. First, the CDC announced a few weeks ago that you should wear a mask when having relations. Listen, I have known couples for years that need to wear a mask when having relations, but that is another story for another day. I’ve also heard that men picking up women often referred to late-night pick-ups as one-baggers or two-baggers. One bag over her head if she was ugly and two if she was really bad; one for her and one for the guy in case hers came off. I never really heard what plan women had for ugly men, but there are a heap of them that need something over their face. I believe women have a higher tolerance of ugly, than do men, of which I am eternally grateful.

There are too many problems with this mask on while having relations. I can’t even tell who I’m talking to when they have a mask on. A woman might end up sleeping with her neighbor instead of her husband if they don’t take off their mask. You could date somebody six months before you figure out who they really are. How can a woman fake like she’s enjoying it if she has on a mask? Just too many problems.

Next, California says you must wear a mask into all restaurants and wear it in between bites of food while eating. I might learn to put up with folks pooping on the sidewalk. I may tolerate daily riots burning down buildings. I might even adjust to naked folks walking up and down the streets. But I’ll be dad-gum if I will eat a bite, then put on the mask, eat a bite and then put on the mask. I’d go through 20 masks eating a barbeque sandwich. I refuse. Sorry, no can do.

But to top it off, my beloved alma mater, Auburn, announced the eagle will not fly at football games this year due to COVID-19 restrictions. We all know how many COVID-19 cases have originated from eagles in this country. Thank God they stopped them when they did. Georgia followed suit not allowing Uga the Bulldog to take the field. Slobbering Bulldogs are considered the second-largest spreader of COVID-19, and only an alert SEC Commissioner could have put a stop to it.

I’m all for safety, but I would like it to come without tossing out all common sense with it. But it is the time of COVID-19, where hysteria rules and common sense drools, with Uga and the eagle, of course.