T GAMBLE: Just another Oklahoma joy ride

As is often the case, a recent news release by ABC News caught my attention. I’m not sure why this particular article about a rather routine traffic stop caught my eye, as Stephen Jennings and Rachael Rivera were pulled over in Oklahoma for an expired tag.

That is not exactly the crime of the century, although it is a good way to get a DUI if you are drinking and driving. Maybe I noticed it because they had a live rattlesnake in the back seat of their vehicle when they were stopped. That fact alone might be enough to conclude they were drinking and driving.

But they also had a container of uranium in the car. The arresting officer was clearly a crackpot detective, as he quickly identified the yellowish substance as uranium. I deduced that he was able to do this because of his extensive police academy training and the other small detail that the container that held it was marked in big letters URANIUM.

Now these two things might be enough to cause your casual driver concerns, but Jennings and Rivera, known to friends as Snake and Nuke, weren’t content to travel only with nuclear materials and a deadly snake. They also had a loaded firearm, even though Nuke is a convicted felon, and an open bottle of whiskey. Yes, whiskey truly is the gateway to all sins great and small.

The arresting officer, a Sgt. Gibbs, reported finding the rattlesnake in the back seat was a surprise. Do you reckon? If I were the arresting officer, that would have been the end of the arrest. I’d have left the suspects to glow in the dark with the snake.

Gibbs reported the snake was legal as “it was in season for rattlesnake hunting in Oklahoma.” Well, boy howdy, they round up rattlesnakes here in Georgia at the rattlesnake roundup, but I don’t know a soul that puts them live in the backseat. Now understand, there may be Georgia folks who do that. I just haven’t met them because their life expectancy is not real good.

Jennings was charged with possession of a stolen vehicle, open container, no insurance and driving with a suspended license. Note to self: When driving a stolen vehicle, without a license, do not do so with a rattlesnake and uranium in the vehicle. Surprisingly enough, it turns out the uranium was in a legal amount in Oklahoma. Don’t that just beat all, as they say in Oklahoma. Any amount of marijuana is illegal in Oklahoma, but as long as you have under an ounce of uranium, who cares?

Sgt. Gibbs says he fielded calls from many neighboring police agencies about this case because, “If we run into it, someone else might run into it.” Hmmm, I’m no expert, but I don’t think we need to add a section at police training for uranium-carrying, rattlesnake passengers in stolen vehicles. At any rate, they gave the uranium back to Jennings. Then they euthanized the rattlesnake. I’m not sure why. He must have had a pretty even temperament as no one got bit. The snake seemed to be the most innocent of all involved. But such is life.

Jennings said he was trying to create a super snake. I guess he will have to wait a little bit, as he is in jail now and the snake is dead. Moral of the story: If you plan to drink and drive, with a live rattlesnake and with uranium, and are a convicted felon, without insurance or a license, make sure your tag is not expired.