T. GAMBLE: Statistics give reality a good soaking

“There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics,” Mark Twain is often quoted as having said.

Nothing could be truer, especially concerning statistics, which can be quoted accurately but stated in such a way as to give a very false impression at the same time.

So it is with the newest release of statistics that show an alarming 50 percent greater rise in ocean water than previously thought.

Papers across the land ran headlines that sea levels are rising 50 percent faster than previously thought. I almost went and bought a life preserver, lest the sea creep into my home in Terrell County in the middle of the night.

I was certain people on the coast were drowning daily from the rapid rise. The Orange County Register headlined this danger in California with alarming news about the rise.

Then, if you read the entire article, one discovers the sea has now risen 2.5 inches in the last 42 years. Yes, that is inches. Not feet. Not yards. Not miles. Inches.

The largest rise in one year was a little under one eighth of an inch. Measure that and when you get through to determining what slightly less than an eighth of an inch looks like, call me. I’ll probably be in an old folks home by then.

Yes, at this pace, in 204 years the sea will have risen one foot. Yep, it does appear New York City will soon vanish before my very eyes. I should only be so lucky. I have tons of things to worry about but one eighth of an inch rises in sea level will not be on my top 100 list any time soon.

Years ago, after the census was taken — in, I believe, 1990 — a local paper trumpeted that the Hispanic population had increased in Webster County an astounding 366 percent.

I was stunned.

I often go to Webster County and I had not seen even one Mexican or Hispanic person. Now, I’m fine if there are a bunch of Hispanic folks in Webster County, but they don’t even have a Mexican restaurant in Webster County. Heck, even Arlington has a Mexican restaurant.

I went almost immediately to Preston, the county seat, to see if I could find a large number of Mexicans. I drove all around Preston and I did not see even one. Come to think of it I didn’t see one of anything, as Preston is not exactly bustling with activity on a mid-day ride through.

I went in a few businesses and asked where I could find the new migrated population, only to be met with blank stares and “what the heck are you talking about” looks.

Well, it turns out the article was factually accurate in that the 1980 census showed there were seven Hispanics in Webster County and the 1990 census showed there were now 29. Hardly a massive change in demographics, but, based on the article, one would think the county government had begun to speak Spanish.

I guess it is like the old joke I always heard. A man stuck his head in an oven at 120 degrees but put his feet in a bucket of ice at 20 degrees. Statistically speaking, on the average, he was quite comfortable.

So, watch out getting comfortable with the statistics the news spews out. And remember, there is a 50 percent chance that this article is accurate.

Email columnist T. Gamble at [email protected].