T. GAMBLE: Steaming ahead with a flat idea

I recently read an article about Rocket Man that caught my eye. And, no, this Rocket Man is not the same one that Donald Trump calls Rocket Man from North Korea, but he may be just as crazy.

This Rocket Man is 61-year-old “Mad” Mike Hughes. I must confess I have limited experience with people whose first name is Mad, Mad Max being one that comes to mind off the top of my head. But those that have the moniker usually earned it.

Mike has decided to build a homemade steam-powered rocket and blaze over the small ghost town of Amboy, Calif., located in the Mojave Desert. This rocket will travel 500 mph, reach 1,800 feet high, and travel a mile.

Or, at least according to Mike it will do such a thing.

I’m no engineer, so I guess he could be right, but in my limited experience with things such as rockets, I don’t believe steam-powered and rocket are very often used in the same sentence. Or the same century, for that matter.

Mike, however, is not deterred by suggestions his attempt may be risky, if not downright suicidal. He says — and I quote — “I don’t believe in science.”

Well, now, he may yet get a position in the North Korean space program. I always prefer a rocket scientist who does not believe in science if one is available.

You see, Mike is being sponsored by a group known as Research Flat Earth. I’ll let you guess what they believe in. He intends to fly high enough and far enough to prove his theory that the Earth is flat, not round.

I hope he is wrong or I’ll have to throw away all my old history books with that “crazy” story about Magellan sailing around the world and all. I expect he may also prove another theory of Newton’s — you know, the one about gravity — but I guess we can wait and see.

Funding has been a little sparse, as Mike makes $15 an hour as a limo driver, but adds he also makes tips, so who knows what he really makes? His launch pad is attached to a motor home, sort of like a scud missile, I guess.

He made the fuselage out of used scrap aluminum, but says, “I want to inspire others and you have to do something incredible to get anybody’s attention.”

Boy, whatever happened to doing a backwards flip off the high dive?

Unfortunately, his scheduled launch Saturday was blocked by the Federal Aviation Administration and The Bureau of Land Management. Can’t those damn, meddlesome, pesky government do-gooders mind their own business? I mean what else is there to do in the Mojave Desert in November?

After this great scientific feat, Mike says he will then run for governor of California. I’d say judging by what I know, and see, of California he should be an early front-runner, if not a downright shoo-in.

Mike has been compared to Evel Knievel, but rejects the similarity, saying, “Knievel was an average stunt guy that stole his look from Elvis.” He instead describes himself as a walking reality show.

I don’t know. I last thought about flying into space when I was about 8, not 61, but more power to Mike. Maybe he will bring steam power back to the glory years and I can join the I-don’t-believe-in-science movement.

Email columnist T. Gamble at [email protected].