T. GAMBLE: Thrust leg, bend knee … now that looks natural

I have determined that the average American now has had their picture taken more than Marilyn Monroe in her prime. We take pictures of everything and everywhere. The camera phone has basically created a situation where one is required to take a picture of any event or happening, no matter how mundane or insignificant.

Facebook and Snapchat and all the other electronic media have only exasperated the photo-taking extravaganza. I know folks who take pictures of their meals, and their dogs, and their flowers and on and on it goes. I do some of it myself, but I hate to tell you, once you’ve seen a few hundred daylilies, well you’ve pretty much seen a few hundred daylilies. A slab of ribs on the grill can only look so good, and I love fried chicken but I really don’t give a damn about seeing a picture of fried chicken.

But of all the photo-taking that occurs, nothing beats the selfie or the photo taken with just a few friends. Listen, I am about to alienate 50 percent of the adult population with what I am about to say. But I’ve probably already alienated most of them anyway, so here goes anyway. Women, please quit taking pictures and thrusting one leg out, slightly bent, as you pose beside each other. I don’t know who first said “Boy, you will look a lot better in a picture if you will just throw one leg forward and then bend it a little. Man that is super sexy. It will make you look 10 pounds thinner and like a model, too.”

I suppose they said this to a super model, on the runway, as she turned toward a photographer. This thrust outward may have actually made her look sexier, I’m not sure. On the other hand, a super model could cross her legs in a pretzel and still look hot, so who knows.

Maybe Cosmopolitan had an article about “10 ways to improve your sex life!” and number four was take photos with leg thrust out and knee bent. Maybe Christie Brinkley said she was not really all that cute but the bent knee just drove men crazy. Maybe it was on one of Jane Fonda’s work-out tapes. I just don’t know.

All I know is right now hundreds of women are scrolling through their photo posts saying “Am I thrusting my leg out like he’s talking about? Do I look stupid in this picture or is he just a jerk?”

Well, I guess it is all a matter of opinion but every picture I see has some woman about to break in half trying to get the bent knee effect, whatever in the hell that is. And I really do not know why. I have never had a male friend say, “Boy did you see Cindy’s picture on Facebook? The way she was bending that knee and thrusting her leg out, man I couldn’t hardly take it.”

And, for added measure, they also like to add the hand on the opposite hip for full leg thrust, bent knee, effect. Now, nothing says this photo is casual, and definitely not staged, than a hand on the hip, followed by leg thrust and bent knee.

I think from here on out, I’ll start posting pictures with my leg thrust out, bent, and hand on my hip. I bet it will improve my standing in the community and people will say, “I don’t know what it is about T. Gamble, but ever since he began to thrust his leg out, bend it and put a hand on his hip, he looks 10 years younger.”

Or, then again, they may say, “I wonder why T. Gamble is sleeping outside ever since his wife read his last article.” Who knows?

Email T. Gamble at [email protected].