T. GAMBLE: We could fly much friendlier skies

I recently had to fly out of town on a business trip. Air travel has greatly changed over the last 30 or 40 years.

Way back when, people wore their Sunday best to fly. Men wore suits and women wore dresses with hats.

Nowadays, folks look like they just came off a three-day drunk.

I saw more stretch pants, and I do mean stretch, than a national yoga convention. Bedroom slippers, too-short t-shirts that reveal the belly, even a bathrobe … I saw it all.

Maybe it was Harvey Weinstein in the robe. Who knows?

One thing that has not changed is what I call infantflyphobia — the fear of flying next to an infant.

You could have a mama with a baby about to board on one side and a guy with a long beard, speaking Arabic and saying Allah Akbar, on the other, and I’ll take my chances flying next to Akbar.

I think children under 5 should be required to fly in the cargo area with the golf clubs and suitcases. And, yes, I did fly several times with the Hurricane boy and Princess girl when they were under 5 years of age.

For this transgression, I profusely apologize.

To better accommodate future flyers, I think the airlines should sell seats by specific sections.

For $100 more, you could sit in the child-free section.

For $200 more, you sit in the “no one will sit beside you that weighs 400 pounds and takes your armrest” section.

And for $300 extra, it would be the certified “everyone took a bath today” section.

Yes, I can see a new startup airline coming soon. Until then, have a seat, Akbar.

Email T. Gamble at [email protected].