Americus foster parent encourages others considering taking in children to ‘take the leap’

AMERICUS — Shaquita Fanning has a unique background in law enforcement and child advocacy from which she gained valuable tools in her next venture.

A little over a month ago, Fanning became a foster parent to two girls ages 14 and 1, a sibling group, to help provide stability to children who need it most.

“I wanted to be a foster parent for years,” Fanning said from her home in Americus.

Fanning spent seven years working for the Columbus Police Department, where she interacted directly with children in group homes, and found creative ways to help vulnerable youngsters through the personal traumas they were going through.

“I heard kids say they wanted to be adopted, but they had issues,” she said. “No child should age out of foster care without having a family.

“I takes a lot of patience and understanding for where the kids are coming from.”

One reality foster children have to deal with is moving around, which Fanning said can be a form of trauma for them. Those who get into foster care often do so because of behavior issues or problems at home, so that baggage is something the new foster parent said should brace themselves for — rather than expecting a child to be perfect.

Fanning said she initially wanted only younger children, but that having the teenager in her home has been an unexpected blessing. The younger of the two sisters has been prone to temper tantrums with no other meaningful way to communicate, which the older sister has been helpful with in finding ways to break through.

“Her sister and I have helped teach her some words, and she will mimic what we are doing,” the foster parent said.

In her time as law enforcement, Fanning received crisis intervention training and experience in building behavior management plans. This alone has been extremely useful, because it allows for a mindset of determining why a child behaves the way they do and how to address it.

If punishment is warranted, this includes giving children options for what their punishment will be, which she said she has found to be surprisingly helpful.

“It is important to figure out what their issue is and what they can do,” she said. “It is important not to overwhelm them.

“It is important to sit down and talk through it together.”

In addition to her background in law enforcement, Fanning has a four-year background with CASA. Those working for CASA, or Court Appointed Special Advocates, watch over and advocate for abused and neglected children and make sure they don’t get lost in the legal and social service system or remain in inappropriate group or foster homes — staying with each case until it is closed, the organization’s website states.

Her involvement with CASA has primarily been as a forensic interviewer. She still keeps up with the children she has worked with, some of whom have been family groups split between multiple foster homes.

Now acting as a foster parent, Fanning’s goal is to help keep families together and reduce the trauma of separation. The two girls she is caring for have a third sibling they have been separated from since August, a connection she has been trying to solidify.

“I had three brothers, and I couldn’t imagine being separated (from them),” she said. “To see siblings ripped away from you, I am sure it can be really stressful on kids.”

Fanning has noticed a particular difference in the teenager, who has been able to open up more as she has begun to feel more safe. This is a need every foster child has, which has made Fanning a strong believer in therapeutic training for foster homes so that parents do not give up children who are prone to escalating behavior.

“I want to make kids feel like they are safe, like they are part of the family,” she said.

This mindset lead Fanning to make clear to the teenager in her home that she was not going anywhere else until something pulls them away, and to include both children in extended family gatherings.

As a foster parent, she has been able to see how frustrating the process can be, because the process is slow. She underwent impact training from August through October, which included a panel of foster parents.

In that training, she met someone who was once a foster child and was able to see the positive result of having a strong foundation in a foster home.

“That is the kind of impact I want to have with all the kids who come through my doors,” Fanning said.

While providing a stable environment, connections can still exist between parents and children. The baby in Fanning’s home, for instance, takes part in video chats with her mother.

“You kind of become one huge family,” she said. “You keep the family connected until the kids are able to come home.”

Fanning said there are a number of services in place for foster children to ensure they are developing as they should be, and that Lutheran Services of Georgia — the organization she got involved in the fostering system through — has been supportive.

She has found that personal resources, including the church she recently joined, are eager to help.

“It is surprising how people rally around you,” Fanning said. “It is really helpful.”

She has made a commitment to learn the interests of the children in her care. The teenager with her, for instance, likes art and shares her foster mother’s taste in music, and they have gone on walks, to the fair and to the movies together. They also have cooked and gone to beauty salons together.

The older of the two has been fairly easy going, which has been a pleasant surprise. In the last few weeks, Fanning has seen her go from quiet to opening up and expressing herself more — considered a hopeful sign in her development.

For not initially wanting older children, she is now glad she gave both children a chance. Figuring out schedule routines has been a challenge, but that it has been a worthwhile experience.

“There was an immediate need for (the two siblings) to be placed, and I didn’t want them to be separated,” Fanning said. “She has opened up more than in other places.

“They told me this is the first time since she has been genuinely happy since being placed in care.”

Soon, the teen is expected to attend an independent living program in Columbus, which includes training on life skills and goal setting.

“It will be nice to see how that goes for her as well,” Fanning said.

Fanning said it definitely takes a loving and patient person. Rather than becoming a paid babysitter, someone looking to be a foster parent ought to be able to take a child in and consider them as family.

“(You should) give them as normal childhood experiences as you can (including arts, sports, etc.),” she said. “They should be able to do those things and have someone there that is supportive. It takes a lot of time, but it is worth it.”

This is something Fanning said she is in for the long-haul, and is even willing to take it a step further and become an adoptive parent.

“If there becomes an opportunity to adopt, would like to adopt a sibling group,” she said. “My boyfriend and I have talked about it.”

Foster parenting not only means having an impact on a child, but the child having an impact on the parent. So, to those considering going into foster care, Fanning encourages them to take the leap.

“While some days are challenging, it is a lot of fun,” she said. “It is fun to see kids growing into themselves and being happy.

“I am glad I was finally able to do it.”

Jennifer Parks