Foster care offers rewards to both children and adults

ALBANY — Foster care can be a frightening prospect for both adults and children, but many of those involved say the experience for both parties is well worth it in the end.

Lillian McCain of Cordele grew up in a family of 12 but did not have children of her own in adulthood. It was a hard adjustment for her, she said, because she wanted to have children.

She eventually connected with Lutheran Services of Georgia and was able to fulfill that desire by becoming a foster parent. Now, 13 years later, she acts as a single parent to five children — including two she has since adopted.

“Knowing they need someone, and that I could be of help (was my motivation),” McCain said.

A child who enters into foster care often does so due to traumatic circumstances within their family, and it is usually a temporary arrangement. When it is time to move on, the meaning of “foster” in foster care is put into perspective.

“That is what it is, fostering,” McCain said. “You are not supposed to be (with) them forever.”

Lauren Welch, LSG’s foster care recruiter in Albany, became a foster parent herself along with her husband, after they found out they could not have children of their own.

Welch said McCain is an inspiration to her, as she does the job on her own.

“(At the end of the day), I want to take a bath and say ‘peace out,’” Welch said. “You can’t do that with one person.”

The most rewarding part of the experience, Welch said, is seeing the influence a good foster parent environment has on foster children. They are often desperate for stability, or are fearful they might be sent somewhere different at the drop of a hat.

“I feel like a child is happy, and in a happy home,” McCain said. “They are loved, and know we are there for them … and (I love) hearing the word ‘momma.’”

McCain said hearing the word “momma,” or one of the children in her home saying, “You are the best momma in the whole world,” does something special for her.

“I can’t do it without praises,” she said.

In her years as a foster parent, McCain has seen more than a dozen children come in and out of her home. She has witnessed them soak in everything, as most children do, and has seen them grow up a lot while coping with what they have been through.

“It takes a lot of patience,” McCain said. “As much as they have been through, they are reachable.

“Everybody can’t be a foster parent. It takes a special person, someone who is patient and is willing to be there for the children. It is a joy to see it on their faces as they grow.”

Welch said a common concern she runs into involves adult who wants to be a foster parent but are fearful of getting too attached, which can lead to distress for the adults when it is time for the child to leave.

It is for those moments she recalls something another foster parent once said: “My big heart is less important than their little hearts.”

“We are so worried about our big selves. What about their little selves?” she said.

When a child moves on, they are often going to a family member they are familiar with. Once they get to that point, there is usually a special glow about them.

“It just amazes me,” McCain said.

The LSG Albany office is based at Trinity Lutheran Church on Whispering Pines Road. Two staff members handle duties there, Welch and a case manager. Between the two of them, they are tasked with seeking out potential foster parents, conducting home visits and performing background checks.

In Welch’s role as the recruiter, she makes a point of doing what she can to bring stability to the children in need.

“I try to get myself in front of everyone who will listen,” she said. “If you are not attached (to your foster child), there is a problem. You should be crying in a puddle on the floor (when they leave) and wake up the next day and do it again.”

In order to qualify, a foster parent has to have access to certain basic facilities and resources, go through an orientation, take 20 hours of classes over the course of several weeks while proper background checks and CPR training are conducted, Welch said.

The benefit of there being two LSG staff members is that all the families get to know the individuals helping them through the home visits, along with everything else that needs to be done to get a child in a home. A partnership with the Georgia Department of Family and Children Services brings in the children for whom LSG looks for a space and matches with a family.

How long the arrangement lasts depends on the time it takes for the child’s case to play out. It can range from days to years.

“(The foster family) keeps the child in the home as long as DFCS needs the child in a home,” Welch said.

Welch and her husband were rejected by a few adoption agencies before a conversation led them to foster care. She said she has found that a need for stability is important to a foster child, so they can know they will wake up in the same spot the next day rather than get sent away after the first bad day in their current environment.

“The only way they will feel that they matter is if the adults show them they matter,” she said.

McCain has credited prayer for helping both the children as well as herself get through the experience.

“Being a foster parent is very rewarding,” she said.

On any given day, about 12,700 children are in the foster care system, data from the Georgia Court Appointed Special Advocates for Children shows. DFCS said that neglect, drug abuse, inadequate housing, abandonment and incarceration were the top reasons for children being in foster care during Fiscal Year 2015.

On Sept. 30, 2015, 11,551 children were in DFCS custody. That same year, 843 children transitioned from state custody into adoptive families, data from the agency said.

LSG was established in 1979 and opened its Albany office in 2003.

For those unable to serve as a foster parenting full-time, there is the option of part-time placements, Welch said. Those wishing to get connected to foster care opportunities through LSG can contact Welch at (229) 291-0022 or [email protected].