CARLTON FLETCHER: Good grandparenting’s not for the faint of heart

“It’s a family affair …”

— Sly & the Family Stone

I had the opportunity to talk with Dakota and Travis Page, the singer and lead guitarist/singer, respectively, of the Adel-based Page Brothers Band Monday night, and the conversation was enlightening.

The brothers, who are 24 and 21, played — along with the other members of their band — one of the best sets of their careers New Year’s Eve at the downtown Albany Pretoria Fields Brewery. That performance was rendered even more significant — and impressive — by the fact that the brothers only recently recovered from “life-threatening” bouts with the coronavirus.

“It makes me angry when I hear people making jokes and saying things like the virus is some kind of political hoax,” Travis Page said. “It ain’t no joke.”

Added his older brother, “I really thought my brother might die. He had a fever that he couldn’t shake, and while we were in quarantine together, I stayed up all night to make sure he took medication to keep his fever down. Plus, I had a 22-year-old friend die from COVID. Those people who say this is not real don’t have any idea what they’re talking about.”

As the conversation drifted, as it naturally would, toward music, I was charmed by the Page brothers’ recollections of their early introduction to what has become their vocation. Both said their grandfather’s interest in music and his playing guitar in their presence when they were very young was a key influence in their decision to make music a career choice.

I couldn’t help but think of the influence my dad, Bobby Fletcher, had on my son Steve during Steve’s formative years. My dad took my son fishing and hunting as frequently as possible and sparked in him a love for the outdoors and wildlife that remains to this day. And, proud father and “poppy” that I am, I was pleased to see that Steve is carrying on that tradition with his son, Sam, an 11-year-old sharpshooter who killed his first deer this year.

I also thought of the positive, calming influence my daughter’s graddad, Robert White, had on her, how he became one of the people who made sure she got all the things she needed.

There are a bunch of cliches about the “duties” of grandparents, the most predominant one indicating grandparents are supposed to spoil their kids’ kids and then send them back home for the parents to deal with. And while that’s a quaint truism, there’s a deeper thread that runs through many first- and third-generation family members.

Like my dad with my son, grandparents usually dote on the offspring of their children and, if given the opportunity, hand down the wisdom of their generation. Also, many grandparents find themselves in the position of helping raise — or taking on that responsibility solely — when their children prove incapable of doing so. In most such cases, there’s never cries of “I raised my kids, now it’s your turn to raise yours.”

No, grandparents grieve the inability — or unfortunate circumstances — that leave them to, often at an advanced age, go through the trials and tribulations of raising another set of children. I know many people who, had it not been for grandparents willing to take them in and take them on, would have no doubt had a much more difficult life than the one they’re now living. Others, like my children and Dakota and Travis Page, are simply better human beings because they had grandparents who were there to show them love.

So as we head into this new year, I hope some of us — and they know who they are — will take a few moments to thank their grandparents — or remember them — for the impact they had on their lives. Like I’ve been told: Being an involved grandparent is not a chore for the faint of heart.