CARLTON FLETCHER: Let it snow, let it snow, let it snowflake

Bigger they are they think they have more power …

— Snow

I guess I need to listen to Rush Limbaugh and read the Breitbart news site more often.

Some obvious admirer of those bastions of journalistic integrity called me a “snowflake” last week. I didn’t know what that meant … actually thought it was a compliment. The word “unique” — as in no two snowflakes are alike — came to mind.

Turns out I was wrong.

It seems snowflake is not a term of endearment, but more a battle cry of the more right-leaning, taken perhaps from Chuck Palahniuk’s “Fight Club:” “You are not special. You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake.”

I went to a number of sources to find out what, in the parlance of the enlightened livestock who march in goosestep to the beat of what the media are calling the “alt-right,” being a “snowflake” meant. After reading some interesting definitions and discussions of the word, I came up with what I believe to be a simplified answer.

According to Breitbart, Limbaugh, et al, a snowflake is “an entitled person, an elitist, a liberal” and — obviously most damning — someone who doesn’t get on the Trump Train.

And while I’m certainly no admirer of the president’s actions in office so far — nor did I think he was very good on “The Apprentice,” and I’m not one of those who thinks filing for multiple bankruptcies to bilk others out of billions of dollars makes you a successful businessperson — I have to admit that if he’s nothing else, he’s entertaining.

But, sorry, Mr. Anonymous, I don’t think you can bunch me in there with the real snowflakes who are so onerous to your way of thin … oops, sorry … to the way of thinking of those who tell you what you should think. See, I detest the term “liberal” because it implies that I’ve chosen to align myself with a specific ideology whose beliefs I’ve accepted as my own. Unlike the group you get your marching orders from, I have no interest in anyone else’s agenda.

I agree with many of the platforms embraced by the left-leaning on the political spectrum — I’m for the poor and impoverished and hate to see that both they and the middle class are nothing but handmaids and serfs to the rich, many of whom got their money the old-fashioned way, inheriting it; I believe old white men do not have the power or moral authority to tell women what they can and can’t do when it comes to reproduction — sorry, Mike Pence, the day of the Puritans has run its course — and I believe someone’s sexual preference is his or her own personal choice and business and none of you — not even the closeted of you who rail against others who are bold enough to make their preferences public — has the right to legislate what is or is not “natural” to other human beings.

However, I believe wholeheartedly in the carrying out of the death penalty for convicted capital criminals, that we’ve turned America into a welfare state by choosing to enslave generations of poor by giving them necessities others work for even when the recipients are capable of earning their own way, and that our government of chickenhawk politicians, most of whom used their money or influence to avoid any kind of military service, have failed our veterans miserably.

Then, going back to “snowflakes,” there are those terms “elitist” and “entitled.” Sorry, but even utilizing your wildest wall-building imaginations you could not come up with a scenario that puts me in either of those categories. “Elite” implies privilege, so that’s a no-go. And while I understand that most of you use the term “entitlement” as a thinly-veiled epithet to label minorities — gotta keep your “master race” cred — I’m entitled only to get my a** out of bed each day and go to work so that my family has food and shelter.

(By the way, if you want to talk about true entitlement, you might look at those among your rank who believe that, because of the color of their skin or the size of their portfolio, the laws of the land — especially those about illegal business practices — don’t apply to them.)

I’ll give you the points that some folks’ discussion of snowflakes includes the words “sensitive” and “journalist” — excluding, of course, those fair and balanced newshounds at Fox and Breitbart. I’ll cop to both of those, although I’m sure there are those who doubt my legitimacy in the latter. (I do, however, cry sometimes when watching “This Is Us.”)

If you want to label me a “snowflake” to keep your standing with your homies, hey, have at it. That’s a lot better than some of the things I’m called on a regular basis. If, however, you’re not really hip to what your compatriots are inferring with its usage, I hope this helps. You’ll be glad to know it’s more than me being a unique white dude.

Email Carlton Fletcher at [email protected]. Follow @ABH_Fletcher on Twitter.

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