SCOTT LUDWIG: The low-down on capitol gains

Since being elected president for the second time, Donald Trump had already hawked personally autographed “limited edition” guitars — $11,500 for electric, $10,500 for acoustic — and fragrances, including a signature Victory cologne ($119 a bottle; free shipping for orders of $120 or more).

Shortly before being sworn in for the second time, Trump was promoting a commemorative gold-plated inauguration edition watch for $899, which isn’t a bad price — if you don’t know you can find one just like it on Amazon for under $100. Then again, those on Amazon aren’t officially affiliated with the president. POTUS’ new best friend, Jeff Bezos, might want to look into that.

If you already have a Trump guitar, cologne or watch, you might like to consider purchasing one of the latest additions in his specialty line of footwear. Anything from high-tops bearing a state-by-state map of his electoral vote victory ($299) to Never Surrender low-tops ($199) to Landslide combat boots ($299).

And, if your purchase tops $500 (pre-tax, of course), you get a pair of Trump slides (a $149 value) absolutely free. Don’t everyone rush out and buy all at once, now.

Trump footwear has already gotten rave reviews. Here’s one from @RISEattireUS: “First of 3 pairs arrived today, and they came with a note from the boss himself. Smells like black marker; I think it’s real.”

Here’s another review, this one posted by someone who actually signed his real name (which won’t be mentioned here because he/she is most likely a Russian troll): “@TrumpSneakers are (fire emoji). I want to collect them all. I have ordered 6 pairs and I have my eyes on at least 2 more.”

All of this begs the question as to why a self-proclaimed billionaire – six times over, if rumors are true – needs to fatten his wallet by selling products that will end up in a garage sale in the not too distant future.

Here’s one train of thought: Trump isn’t really a billionaire; he just plays one on television. Therefore, he needs the money, and selling sneakers is an easy way to get it. And if you don’t think someone can get obscenely rich selling over-priced sneakers, then you need to meet Phil Knight. He owns Nike.

Here’s one other question Trump’s promotional gimmicks bring to mind: How does he get away with it? Aren’t there any restrictions preventing politicians from whoring out their name?

Short answer: no.

Otherwise, there wouldn’t be:

· “Marco Polos” (Marco Rubio collared shirts, $30.99 for one with “STFU” stitched on the chest);

· “Cruzies” (Ted Cruz T-shirts, hats and iPhone cases);

· Rand Paul filibuster starter packs (shirt and sticker saying, “The NSA knows” for $30).

But it’s not just Republicans. Democrats are guilty as well. Hillary Clinton’s store offers a “future voter” onesie for only $25 (as opposed to, say, an $899 watch). You can also find a variety of items on Barack Obama’s website that promotes his Obama Foundation.

However, if I had to guess between Obama and Trump as to whose money from merchandise sales was used to “inspire, empower, and connect people to change their world” and whose money ended up in someone’s personal bank account … well, I think we all know which direction I’d lean.

Authoring books is another stream of revenue for politicians. Democratic senators — Adam Schiff and Jamie Raskin being two of them — have written powerful books about some of the recent and troubling events in the nation’s capital.

Republicans have also taken to putting pen to paper. Former Senator Liz Cheney’s book reveals she is one of the few in her party who still has a backbone, while former Veep Mike Pence’s memoir clearly indicates he is one of the many who doesn’t.

The man a couple of quarter-pounders with cheese away from becoming president, J.D. Vance, got in on the action early with “Hillbilly Elegy,” a memoir that doesn’t do the people of Appalachia any favors. In their defense, however, none of them ate their pets.

Kash Patel has gotten in on the act as well, penning a book/manifesto that points out his “enemies list.” Pay no attention that he’s the guy Trump picked to be the new FBI director. The top G-man also has written several children’s books, suitable for ages 5 and up. I’ll leave the punch line for that one to you.

Politicians capitalizing on their names. When did it all start? At the very beginning, it turns out, with our very first president, George Washington.

At his inauguration, commemorative brass buttons bearing Washington’s initials (GW) inscribed with “Long Live the President” were sold.

Even though I’d be caught dead before I’d spend one red cent on anything connected to the felon currently in the White House, I wouldn’t have a problem buying a memento of the Father of our Country.

With a little luck, maybe I’ll find one in a garage sale in a few years. In the middle of a bunch of old, worn-out MAGA hats, perhaps.