WILL THAULT: Where have all the fathers gone? Long time passing

I was shocked to read T. Gamble’s column in this paper on crime and parenting in America recently. In it, I learned that a disproportionately higher number of murders and other crimes were committed by youthful offenders who were raised in single-parent homes as opposed to two-parent homes. This statistical trend has held steady since the 1960s with devastating effect on the children raised in these high-risk families and in our society as a whole. The single-parent environment is the one constant correlation, regardless of race, income levels or geographic area.

Gamble was quick to add that he wasn’t saying “every kid reared this way will be bad or criminal. But it increases the odds greatly.” And that he understands that “large percentages of single-reared kids have done fine, but a much higher rate than those with two-family rearing have not.”

His conclusions inspired me to dig even deeper into these worrying stats.

According to a 2019 Pew Research Center Study, the U.S. has the world’s highest rate of children living in single-parent homes — nearly 1 in 4 households. “For decades, the share of U.S. children living with a single parent has been rising, accompanied by a decline in marriage rates and a rise in births outside of marriage.” The study went on to say that an even greater percentage of children living with an unmarried parent “has more than doubled since 1968, jumping from 13% to 32% in 2017. That trend has been accompanied by a drop in the share of children living with two married parents, down from 85% in 1968 to 65%.”

In terms of real numbers, there are more than 11 million single-parent families. Eighty percent, or almost 9 million of these family household heads, are mothers. Less than 2 million are fathers. That means, of these 11 million families, there are 19.7 million children — 1 in 4 — without a biological, step or adoptive father at home.

Research done by the National Fatherhood Initiative in 2019 and other studies show that when a child is raised in a father-absent home, they are affected in the following ways:

♦ 4 times greater risk of poverty;

♦ 85% exhibit behavioral disorders;

♦ 2 times greater risk of infant mortality;

♦ 70% face juvenile detention;

♦ more likely to commit crime;

♦ 7 times more likely to become pregnant as a teen;

♦ 90% of all homeless and runaway children;

♦ more likely to face abuse and neglect;

♦ 75% have substance abuse issues;

♦ 2 times more likely to suffer obesity;

♦ 71% are high school dropouts.

♦ Can fathers in a home make a difference? Author/teacher Judy Wright thinks so.

In her 2020 article, “Fathers and Sons — Why Boys Need Positive Role Models,” Wright says, “As a parent educator, I have visited and taught hundreds of families and have witnessed many fatherless sons. I have seen and felt the many single Moms struggling to make sense of what their sons need and want from life.

“As important as mothers, grandmothers, aunties, and female teachers are, boys need other positive male role models to guide and teach them how to be kind, thoughtful and respectful men. Studies have shown that adolescent boys have to know they are important to a man whom they respect in order to develop self-confidence and a strong sense of identity.”

The balancing act for a single-parent is tough. But, this isn’t to say that simply having a father figure at home will automatically bring peace, harmony and love. Sadly, there are always exceptions to the rule — like abusive or deadbeat dads — whose families may be better off without them pouring more fuel on the fire.

That’s where mentoring, through local community and family services, can provide that opportunity to fill a desperate void in a young person’s life.

I was one of the lucky ones who came from a two-parent family with extended aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins. We all lived in the same small town and never missed Sunday dinner together at grandma’s house. Today, I’m taking the time to remember my dad and all those “firsts” I learned from him: how to fish, hunt, field dress game, skin a catfish, skull a boat, shuck oysters, drive a stick shift, tie a Windsor knot, give a firm handshake, tell dad jokes, play the boogie woogie, how to love your family and be humble before the Lord. He was simply, my dad, my mentor, my hero.

If you’re a dad who’s been MIA from his family for selfish reasons or reasons beyond your control, make an effort to be involved again — even if you’ve felt rejected in the past by your kids. It’s Father’s Day. Show them some unconditional love. It heals all pain. It may even save a life.